Ixnay On The Oredombay

Welcome to Bella's random review!

After years of it's release, I finally caught X-men: The Last Stand.

Ok I lie, I only caught like the last half hour on Star Movies. Nothing else to watch wah.

Here's a quick recap of what I surmise to be the last battle between humans vs bad mutants vs good mutants.

Magneto heads one side, and some forever to be remained nameless human heads the other. (Forever to be remained nameless because I am probably never gonna watch it again.)

Plus Wolverine, Storm, Iceboy, Kitty, Beast and the really-strong-mutant-whose-name-escapes-me are on the way in their super jet plane that can turn invisible.

Jean Grey looking foxy with red hair, but wearing an ill-fitting leather suit plus unflattering corset.

Magneto smirks as humans raise their guns and open fire. He raises his arm to stop incoming bullets. "Plastic?" he murmurs, "They do catch on..." He then orders a mannish woman mutant to destroy their weapons with her shockwave.

Mannish woman mutant destroys weapons with shockwave.

(A chunk of the battle to be inserted here, I forgot what happened.)

Good mutants arrive. Wolverine and Beast battles random bad mutants that come his way. Storm takes on girl with lip stud. Iceboy ices whatever he can.

Juggernaut, who is apparently Irish/Scottish, is ordered by Magneto to "get the boy."

From this point I can only speculate on the identity of this boy.

Juggernaut pounds through, and lets humans/good mutants bounce off him like beachballs. Then smashes through a wall, which reminded me of cartoons where there would be an outline of whoever smash through haha.

Wolverine hisses, "They're going after the boy!" (Again, who is this boy?) Kitty declares that she'll go after him, and melts through the wall, leaving the ever-so-quick Wolverine yelling "Kitty no!"

Suddenly scene turns to inside the building. Two scientists sprints down a hallway, turns a corner and find themselves face to face with mannish woman mutant and tattooed asian guy.

They immediately do a comical u-turn and find themselves trapped by a purply woman mutant.

Man scientist taken captive by women mutants. Asian guy restrains hysterical woman scientist.

"Shh..." he cooes while he hugs her, "Everything's gonna be alright..."

Stupid woman scientist actually calms down. Tattooed asian guy then turns into spiky tattooed asian guy. Woman scientist slides to the floor dead. Bella is impressed :D

Scene flashes to the roof. Man scientist pleads for his life.

"Are you the one who discovered the cure?" Asian guy asks coldly.

Man scientist whimpers, "Yes yes, it was me, please, I just want to help you!"

Asian guy leans down till he is nose to nose with scientist. He hisses, "Do we look like we need your help?", and proceeds to push scientist off building. I am awed by how evilly cool asian guy is.

Before scientist hits the ground, a winged boy saves him. At this point I remember that the winged boy is called Archangel, and the scientist is his father.

Kitty chases Juggernaut, catches him and melts through the floor leaving Juggernaut stuck mid-waist. She then twirls around and melts through wall.

Juggernaut snarls, "Don't you know who I am, luv? I'm the Juggernaut!" (Not sure bout the luv part, but it sounds right haha)

Blah blah blah

Juggernaut rams headfirst into the wall and Kitty runs away with the boy (who is pale and hairless and sucks powers out of mutants).



Most of the humans die. Magneto loses his powers, leaving him with a then cool, now silly name, and Jean Grey who is now Phoenix has a psycho freakout.

Asian tattooed mutant dies :(

Iceboy engages in battle with Fireboy Pyro. Outcome of battle? Iceboy becomes Iceman and Pyro got burnedddddd. Plus very lame trash talk ("You're still in school?" "You never should've left.")

Wolverine who is able to regenerate (like Claire and Adam from Heroes :D) is the only one able to withstand Phoenix's powers, and thus the only one able to stop her.

She accuses, "You will die for them?" and I says you know I says along with Wolverine, "No... for you... I will die for you..."

But then he tipu and ends up killing her. She dies with a smile on her face and Wolverine continues his sequel to the weepy fit he had in X-men 2.

In the end, all my questions were answered.

My questions were:

Where the f are Cyclops, Prof X and Rogue?

Ans: Dead, dead and got rid of her powers (so she and Bobby can now consummate their love without risking Bobby's death)

Wolverine gets the honour of uttering the very cool parting line of the movie: Not bad, furball.

-end-

Review: I am bored and jobless and Xmen 3 is lame.

xoxo bella

ps: One more day to UBD! AH! which reminds me, must get timetable from website *zooms*