One Of Those Days

:(

Feeling so empty and listless nowadays. Also can't seem to stop sleeping today. Feeling sleepy right now even though I've been sleeping most of the days away (intermittent sleep, but still)

It's been only 2 weeks since holidays have begun. :S NOT that I want it to end, but the two months of NOTHINGNESS stretches out before me and I'm just like WTH AM I GONNA DO!!

Anyhoos. I think I'm gonna take a short nap or I'll fall asleep at work later...

EDIT:

I can't sleep... I have a headache now.

When I was trying to sleep, my mind kept flashing back to yesterday. I was out with my family yesterday morning and at one point we were at my aunt's place where my parents chatted with my relatives/acquaintances and as usual I tuned out everything. (And also, 2 people commented that I seem to have gained weight. Whoopay! Just what I wanted to hear.)

Anyhoos, I was sitting next to my mum, and at one point she started playing with my hair while talking to my dad. And then she began absentmindedly stroking my hair, and at that point I just felt like I was gonna burst into tears. I missed those days where I could just cry and cry and my mum will make everything go away. (Yonks ago, probably when I was 4 or 5) I wish I can just hug my mum and be somehow teleported back to that time, and she can make everything go away; my cynicism, my worries, my unhappiness, my pessimism... Everything so that I can be that quiet little girl again and the only worry I'd have would be if there would be onions in my dinner later.

I hate growing up and having to deal with reality.

xoxo bella

ps: My 199th post!

and i miss my friends.
and other people.
:(