We Can't Play On Broken Strings

I suddenly have an inclination to blog!! hahaha. I'm christening my sister's brand new laptop by blogging on it for the first time. Also for 2009!! HAHAHHA I RHYMED!

Anyway how was your first day of 2009? :) It rained here. Pffft.

I'm feeling happyish? Like content somewhat. I don't know if it's a phase or whatever, but I'm feeling like focused... somewhat??? Or maybe that's just from days of spending time at home with the family. I don't know. The holiday is coming to an end, and I'm feeling good about it. I didn't really feel like wasted it away doing practically NOTHING, but I did go out and meet some friends like every once in a while. BUT I also did what I yearned to do during the previous semester: bum around and sleep for as long as I want WITHOUT feeling guilty :D

so 'twas good :D



Oh yeah my NYE was okay. My little cousins are so cute. Especially the birthday boy! He is so adorable and we all wanted to take him home. He has the most adorable high-pitched voice and he is just so KUAI! Such a good boy! After he blew out the candles on his cake, he insisted on serving every single person a slice. And when my mum was cleaning up the mess, he saw and went like "Aunty aunty!! Wait, I help you carry, I help you carry the things!!" and my mum replied "No no, it's okay you can carry the tissues on the table" My cousin: "Ok ok! I carry the tissue!!"



SO CUTE OKAY!?!?!?!?! I just wanted to hug him and not let him go.



:)



There are some pictures but I can't be bothered to upload them into the laptop. Too lazy... too lazy...... :P



At midnight the neighbours played fireworks so we all went out to watch. I like fireworks. And some people just drove around holding down their carhorns, which was strange but okay.



Then around 45 minutes past twelve we went home and then I watched CSI and went online till almost 5am. So all in all, a mellow entrance into the new year. hehehe.



----



I'm bored actually. Is it just me, or are there less and less people to talk to online?? I mean, I haven't been online much either, but this just proves that there's no point anyway. NOTHING TO DO LOR!



I am loving James Morrison's Broken Strings. Also, Katy Perry's One Of The Boys.



Results out soon! Let the suspense end! And a week till uni so I can see everyone again!! hehe. Actually, the holidays went by quite quickly, don't you guys think? Or is it just me?

My cousin's daughter and yours truly

Ok that was random. Hehehe. I told you I gained weight................

Alrighty nothing much to ramble about now. SEE YOU ALL! MWAHS.

xoxo bella

Here We Are Again

God, I can't believe we're at the end of another year again..... I know I sound like a broken record, but it just throws me off, how time can just get away from you.

Anyway, last year I did a round-up of the year with pictures. I'm too lazy to do that this year, because it entails scouring through a boatload of photos. So I'll just ramble. :)

This year, I think I've come to appreciate my friends a little bit more. To be honest, I think before I've been sort of taking some of them for granted. Like they're good for a laugh and all that, but it just seems surfacial (I don't think that's a real word but it's the only one that fits) somehow. But... I realised that it's hard to build the kind of rapport that I have with them, and I realised that I am totally at ease with them, and that I am truly myself when around them. They laugh at my lame jokes (or maybe they're just laughing at me), we never run out of things to talk about, I don't feel uncomfortable talking about personal stuff, and it's always fun with you guys. I really am grateful that we're friends. Damn, I'm actually getting choked up. Moving on!

For the new friendships I've made, I'm grateful for you too.

I also tried to work harder (more in the second half of the year though). I'm thinking that it paid off... We'll see in a week. I think with a little bit more discipline, I'll be flying high.... Ok maybe a lot more discipline. I refuse to let myself get lost again...

Next year I want to push myself even harder. I want to be able to juggle everything and do well. I think next year will be extra busy. I've signed myself up for more working hours. I'm quitting at the end of March to concentrate on exams though, then immediately after exams, work attachment!

Two things that I'm determined to do next year is work harder and save. I figured the fruits of saving would go towards rewarding myself for working hard. :) we'll see how it goes. It's all I've been thinking about this holiday though. Hahaha, it's sad I know. But that's what I'm determined to do!

Umm I guess that's it. Sadly I won't be celebrating the end of the year with a bang, but it's okay. I'll be spending it with family. One of my little cousin's birthday falls on new year's eve (COOL RIGHT?!) so we'll be going over to their place for STEAMBOAT.

2009! Here I come! HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU GUYS!! HUGSSSSSS

xoxo bella

So This Is Christmas...

... and what have you done?

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL! I know this post is a little late, oh man I just looked at the time at it's 12.14am, therefore it's already 27th December. WHOOPSIE. I haven't been online much, NOT because I'm extremely busy, but rather I didn't feel inclined to go online. lol. I'VE GROWN!

hahaha. but seriously, all I've been doing for the past week is reading my many many many books. I'm home home right now so I've been rereading my old books. A bit dusty, but I love them! I love how my shelves are crammed with all sorts of genres of books. Now I look to my left and I see:

1) Bubbles Unbound by Sarah Strohmeyer (I think this is my sister's. I think it was boring.)
2) A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens (I think this book is SO sad!! and I think this book belongs to Tzen :/)
3) Killjoy by Julie Garwood (one of my many many many Julie Garwoods :D)
4) Prince Caspian by CS Lewis ( I think this belongs to my little sister.)
5) Someone Like You by Roald Dahl (A compilation of short stories by the author, and I have a feeling this was lent to me by Rinni during our PJN days...)
6) Sweet Valley University (HAHAHAhAHAHA!!! OMG CLASSIC!)
7) SHOPAHOLIC SERIESSSSSSSSSS
8) The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman (This was given to me by my English teacher back in Form 4 when I won this story writing competition. sigh... One of the few moments of pride I've ever had in my life...)
9) Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince (Hardcover, yo!! but I lost the jacket!! T.T)

AND MANY MANY MORE!!! I don't find being labelled as a bookworm insulting. Au contraire, it is a privilege to be called as such. haha. I dunno what I'm saying. Conclusion: I LOVE BOOKS!

Hmm not a very Christmassy post methinks. meh. Oh well. I'm not feeling very christmassy this season. la dee da!

And what are you people doing for New Year's? Cos I think I'm doing nothing. :/

xoxo bella

Guilt Has Nothing To Do With It

I'M EFFING BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXCLAMATIONMARKEXCLAMATIONMARK!


Sigh.

I'm afraid to eat nowadays because I am gaining weight, too much, too fast. *tear* I was looking at some old photos and I'm like I WANT TO BE THAT SIZE AGAIN. It's like I'm gradually gaining weight over the years.......... I don't want. I don't wantIdon'twantIdontwant

My boss asked me today why I don't go out with the other girls from work. And honestly I don't really know why. I get along with them well enough.. I guess it's cause I always feel awkward and uncomfortable around them, and I guess I'm past the point where I have to WORK for people to be my friends. In my opinion, if I'm at ease with a person right off the bat, then we truly can be friends. :)

I can't believe it's Christmas next week. Sometimes it's scary that time passes so quickly; it's like a thief that steals bits of your life without you knowing it.

I'm counting down.... 7 days to Christmas... 13 days to 2009... 20 days (I'm guessing) till results are out, 3 semesters away from graduation, and the real world.

Damn.

CONGRATULATIONS TO LINA AND RYAN ON FINALLY COMPLETING THEIR HND AND ALSO THEIR FABULOSO RESULTSSSSS!! *confetticonfetti*

How come we UBD students, who finished exams earlier than ITB, have to wait for like a month for our results??? You just want us to stew in our anxiety, don't you. Sadists.

My wisdom tooth from my left lower jaw is making its debut. It aches.

Mmmmm, I don't really know what else to talk about. Meh. Okay I guess that's all.

Ciao!

xoxo bella

I Don't Care What You Think

as long as it's about me

So I was thinking the other day.

End. Update: I had thought!

LOL

Okay seriously, I was thinking, how I should stop whining to my parents about how miserable I am. If I were in their shoes, and my kid was complaining about how unhappy she was or how sucky her life is, I would feel like such a failure as a parent. Which isn't true. No matter what, I think I'm happy that I turned out the way I did.

I can take care of myself. I'm smart. I'd like to believe that I'm strong... Even if I'm emotionally fragile sometimes... but I'll still survive. I know what's important and what's not. I think I'm quite mature for my age.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I just think that all those qualities, I must've gotten from the way my parents raised me. They're not perfect, but in my family, my father is the figure of strength, and my mother represents patience. And I'd like to think I inherited a bit of those from both of them.

I'm saying all this because I'm feeling a little homesick. I want to go home where my parents will take care of me. It's a little lonely up here :( I want to feel like a daughter.

Ok ok enough brooding hehe. Now reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova :)

xoxo bella

For You A Thousand Times Over

Hello!

Just thought I should update on some stuff, cos my previous post wasn't really much of an update. So I had my last paper last saturday and it didn't go as well as it could've. Friday night I managed to get a migraine which made it really hard to read through Tax one last time so I took an actifast for it. Two hours later my head was still pounding and I couldn't do much except lie on my bed and groan so I took another one, which thankfully kicked in after almost an hour. Then I just read through some of the chapters so I could remember all the details (it's annoying cos there are a lot of rules and treatment for different stuff) but after a while I decided to sleep and wake up at 6 to finish off the last remaining chapters. I set my alarm at 5.45 (15 minutes for me to loll about in bed before actually getting up)

I woke up feeling strangely refreshed... looked towards my window... 'Wow, it's mighty bright for 5.45am....' Pause. Strange, I don't remember my alarm ringing................. holy crap. I make a scramble for my phone and saw: 8.13am.

My exam starts at 9am. At this time I am usually already at the examination hall.

So I scramble to the toilet, and washed up as quickly as I could. Threw on a baju kurung, collected my stuff. Drove like a maniac to uni. Anyway, my hair was in disarray and my head was still feeling a little stuffy. I didn't manage to finish my revision, and yeah. I was very upset.

I'm okay right now, cos really, I have no one to blame but myself. Anyway next time I'm not taking more than one actifast. No way no how. I'll take the pain.

---

I watched Bolt sometime last week with Tzen. (Oh and Nana came over to say hi, but I couldn't tell who it was at first cos it was soooooo dark, so she was like chattering on and on while I was like who the eff is this? hahahha)

ANYWAY.

9/10!!!!!!!!

IT IS SOOOOO FRICKIN HILARIOUS!!!! And although it pains me to say this, but it is probably better than Wall-e. I sooooo recommend it people, and I wanna watch it again!!!! I was laughing throughout the whole movie, except for one part where we teared up because it was sad :'( but it is so very good. LOVED IT. I WANNA WATCH IT AGAIN!!!! I promise that you would love it.

---

I just finished reading 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini. I really don't know whether it's better than 'A Thousand Splendid Suns', but I think I found The Kite Runner sadder... It's just so... I don't know. It's very good. I put down the book feeling happy and sad at the same time. I think the theme of the whole book was redemption. Could you possibly make up for the sins that you've committed? Again, it is based in war-torn Afghanistan. It's very sad to read all the atrocities that was committed in the book, because it is probably committed in real life. So horrible. I felt so disgusted and outraged.

Okay haha, better not give away too much, pero este libro es estupendamente. :) :)

I have a few other books that I've not read yet so I'm looking forward to those.

---

Okay I guess that's all.... I'm wondering where everyone is because even though it's the hols there doesn't seem to be much activity online.. but then again I haven't been online much either. haha.

See ya.

xoxo bella

For A Moment I Can Tell I've Got You

Give this a listen:

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

This song struck a chord in me (no pun intended), I couldn't help but tear up...

I just found the melody so beautiful and simple, and the lyrics...

"Empty stage, with nothing but this girl
Singing this simple melody and
Wearing her heart on her sleeve.."

I don't know. I think I'm in a super emo mood... but it is a beautiful song imo. :)

----

Don't you wish that you could just erase bad memories in your mind? Or blunt their effect on you? I know that you learn from pain, it makes you grow.. but sometimes it's just too much. I've tried steeling myself against hurt, but it just made me feel like it's there in a box somewhere, and one day that box will fall apart and all those emotions will break me.

I kind of have this fear that I may go crazy when I'm older. I'm totally serious. Because right now I'm struggling to keep all my emotions under control and it's getting harder and harder...

This is not making me sound good, is it? PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME FRIENDS :'(

I reread that article on why the 21st century is making us so miserable. Give it a read. It's a really good one.

Sigh. I think I'm drifting away from friends. I've had an awkward text conversation earlier with someone who used to be a good friend. One MSN convo that ended abruptly because I was just plain tired of making small talk. One that wasn't much of a convo in the first place, because we had nothing to talk about. All these with people I used to confide in. I don't know what's happening.

I need a change of scenery. I need to surround myself with something unfamiliar. I need to get out. I need help. :(

EMO TO THE MAXXX.

Night people.

xoxo bella

.......... Nothing Comes To Mind

It's tiring to come up with titles too you know?

I'm not even near halfway through MAC. I'm just so tired. And maybe feeling a little defeated. I mean if I did not so great for something I actually studied for (studied quite thoroughly and in advance too I might add) what's the freaking point eh?? But nvm, I shall persevere. (I hope.) Am feeling a little sleepy now.

I don't know what is up with my body lately, but I think I've been looking very tired/sickly for the past few weeks or something. There are permanent shadows under my eyes and my lips are constantly dry and I just look pale all the time. I was thinking that I look like Morticia now.

Morticia Addams

............ Dammit she's gorgeous. No, no I don't look like her. Errrr oh yeah I was thinking of Lily Munster.

"Hwoaaaarrrrr!!!!"

LOL! Well minus the hair. And the lipstick. And uh.... Ah well I look pale and ghostly that's the nutshell of it =____=

Also my backaches are back again. If I don't get enough rest, I'm like practically bedridden. AND! My period is late again. (Screw it, I'm talking about my menstrual cycle whether you like it or not NEHHH!!) I think if this goes on (the irregularities I mean) I'm gonna go see the doctor. A bit worried about it.

Anyway yeah, obviously I am not in the best shape... :( Gotta start gymming again.... It's just SO expensive! And I need a gym buddy!! One that is not lazy! (Like me.)

Okay ttyl guys mwahs

xoxo bella

:(

I was searching for my result slip for my third semester so I turned my room upside down looking for it... Found my notebook from a year ago.

Specifically the one from second semester.

All the doodles..... His name written everywhere. "I don't want to study, I just want to sit here and daydream about him." I actually wrote that. wtf. I don't miss him at all, but I do miss feeling that way about someone. And have that someone feel the same way. Also I realised that people in love are disgusting. Because I was embarrassed for myself, reading what I wrote. lol.

Anyway, long story short, I'm depressed now and my result slip is still missing. :( :( :(

xoxo bella

ps: I did laugh at what I wrote though. Apparently I was feeling a little down and listening to Foolish Games by Jewel and writing down the lyrics... And under that I wrote: Note to self, do not listen to sad songs when you are already depressed.

Messed Up

Hello people.

My revision's going really slowly, I always end up sleeping or doing something else I dunno. Sigh.

Not doing too well.

I was feeling a little stressed out a week before which resulted in me breaking out in hives/rashes... tis not pretty :( I'm feeling a little ugly now. Yeah yeah it happens to me when I get superly stressed out.

I'm frustrated! I am doing revision. I am doing work. It's just that I always leave them halfway, grrr!!!!

I'm gonna have to go and do FM in a bit, but I'm feeling sleepy now... but no, I must do it before I sleep!

I'm feeling a bit depressed somewhat. I don't know.

Anyway.

Watch this!!

He tapes electric stimulators, looking like the same type used for electroshock therapy, to his face, and syncs them with his music so his involuntary facial contortions match up with the tune.

Source: geekologie!!

This made me want to laugh and cry at the same time!! It looked totally retarded but it was scary because I thought his face was gonna melt off or something!! I mean this totally falls under the category of WTF?!!!

Ok time to go.

I miss you guys :)(friends who I have not seen/talked to in a while.)

xoxo bella

A Few Days Left

till I absolutely need to get started on revision. MEH! I was up all night working on my Spanish speech presentation thingamabob and was worrying like hell for it WHICH was pointless anyhoos because it ended up getting postponed to Saturday =____= what a waste of nerves, stress, sleeping time, and nausea. HAHAAH seriously I don't make sense most of the time.

Now I have that stupid MAC presentation to get started on but I feel soooo lazyyyyyy. I don't want to do it!! Grrr. Mainly because I think it's pointless lah, but whatevs. I think I'm just lazy....

I've been fighting with a mess of emotions inside of me, I swear if you prick me with a needle this whole mess of sludge will come out. Though please don't try. I will bleed and cry. :D

I identified with some random blogger as how she interpreted the university experience: When you're used to being the top of the class in high school, it will all go downhill in uni, because EVERYONE who got into uni was at the top of the class. Of course, I was just average in high school (because I was too lazy to study hard) so in uni I'm extra average. POO :(

Alriteys I gotta run now. Ciao bellas! :)

xoxo bella

ps: I didn't realise that they revamped the UBD website! lol, it's a vast improvement I have to say, but NO IAIN YOU STILL CAN'T ENTER :P I also find the banners that they hang along the roads very distracting while driving hehehe.

Ahh.........

I actually had something to blog about but the page took so long to load that I forgot...

Anyways.

I was talking to this guy I work with (who is also from uni) and we both realised that exams are almost a month away...... that revelation caused a whole series of "omg" (from both of us), me clutching my head in horror, him staring at the ceiling while his mouth moved wordlessly (trying to figure out if he had enough time to make deadlines and study).

ahhhhh panic!! I really want to get good grades!!!!!!!!!! :( Please give me the willpower and discipline to do so during the next month. Amen. :D

I'm still finding it surreal that it's already mid-October and approaching the end of the year.. Three semesters away from graduation!

:O

And then work??

:O

And then and then.... Other crap!!

:O

Ok I think I am taking a hiatus in a little over a week. I think I should take a full-on internet hiatus (MSN + Facebook), being an FB addict, I think it would be much better. I would be so bored, I'd study :D HAHAHAHA well saying it is different from actually going through with it, I don't trust myself :D

I don't know what I'm saying. I haven't totally recovered from last week, I still seem to be tired and sleepy when I wake up. So yeah. Ok I am rambling so I should go.

BYE BYE!

xoxo bella

Shoot It's The Weekend Already

:(

End of mid-semester break. Although this has been the free-est that I've been during the break (usually I would be swamped with assignments and such) I've only had one assignment and we got it done earlier and it wasn't really that much anyway :S The next one is due in November, I should really take a look at it lol.

However I am worried because my courses this semester are all :S :S :S

TAXATION!! barely even started the course and I missed the second lecture (fourth overall but second USEFUL lecture that SOB I so hate that ohglkaksgainhgilm) I didn't even wanna miss it, but it's a long story and it makes me mad everytime I think of it. GRR! Fridays and Sundays no free time no more. Thank goodness for Wednesdays...... (No work, no classes, WHOOPEE!)

MAC!!! LKS chapters are alright. But Roly P's not so much. And I'm worrying because I really really need to get A's this semester so............. Which reminds me, I have replacement lecture this Monday.

FR!!!!! Since we were done with it early I think I'm probably gonna forget most of what we've done, PLUS!!! M's not here, so who are we gonna ask for help??? :( Not Roly P, that's for sure.

FM!!!! OMG! I am totally lost in this course.......... It's so hard......... I really need to read up on it, and test next week!!!! I'm so screwed :( Tzen, if you're reading this, WARGHHH!!! Bella, if you're reading this, get off your ass and study!

Spanish. CRAP! I forgot about the assignment. Will get it done tomorrow. lol.

Ok top things on my list:
1) Revising
2) Gymming

I think I'm gonna start being a loser loner :D (not that I have friends to hang out with anymore anyway :S HAHAHA!)

Okay see you guys next week, and hope you're enjoying your Raya ^^ I've gained weight :S lol.

Toodles!

xoxo bella

THANK YOU~

I had a great birthday this year!! Usually my birthdays are meh, making me dread it as each year goes by, but this year it was surprisingly a good one! :)

THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO TEXTED

THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO GREETED ME ON FB

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY HUGS! (mostly Sheena :P)

I don't know if I'm gonna go into detail here but.

27th September 2008:

I turned twenty one. The day was more or less okay. I was feeling really exhausted from having trouble sleeping two nights in a row, plus Body Jam session at the gym on Friday. So I was a bit loopy and weird and pretty much spouting nonsense the whole time.

Some birthday texts woke me up, but that ain't the worst way to get woken up right? :)

Tutorial, lecture (where the boys started to sing happy birthday but LKS walked in so I shushed them lol), lunch with Tzen (THANKS FOR LUNCH BABE) and then again at Excapade with Sheena and Grace where we were all giggly haha

I went back for a much needed nap.

Woke up to get ready for dinner.

Dinner (at OGH again) was quite fun. We had some funny conversations that I can't remember now.... but I do remember we were talking about when we were born, like who was the hardest to give birth to, what time were we born, etc. And my dad was telling us about an ailment one of my sisters had and we were asking why she had this ailment and he started to tell us that it happened before she was born.

Sisters: Huh? What do you mean?

Dad: You see, when you were conceived-

Me: I don't wanna hear this *plugs fingers into ears*

lol. I think he used the wrong word :S heh heh.

Argh. Can't remember what else. Anyhoos. Moving on.

28th September 2008:

I turned twenty one and a day! :) I had dinner plans with the gang at 6.30pm at Fratini's in KB. Tzen had asked me to pick her up so I texted her before I left home telling her that I was on my way.

So when I reached her place I gave her a call to see where she was. She picked up after a few rings.

T: Hello...?

B: Hey.. where are you??

T: omg!! I just woke up??

B: Er.. you do know that it's 6.15 right? I'm waiting outside your house.

T: ok ok! I'm so sorry!! I'll get ready now! Come up lah.

B: Nah it's okay, I'll just wait in the car.

T: Aiya come up lahh!!

B: No seriously, it's okay I'll just wait in the car. I need to call Fairuz anyway.

T: ohh.. okay then.

I hang up.

I called Fairuz. No answer.

I hung up feeling frustrated and just a little bit annoyed. I was thinking how inconsiderate it was that Tzen asked me to pick her up, and is making me wait because she didn't wake up in time, and I was also annoyed that Fairuz isn't answering my call or text. Then I started thinking, why was Tzen so adamant that I wait upstairs? If she can get ready quickly it wouldn't make sense for me to turn off the engine and walk upstairs only to go back down again?

It clicked.

OMG THEY'RE ALL UPSTAIRS AREN'T THEY!!!!

I started laughing and wondered if I should go up then. Hmmm, nah I think I'll just wait till Tzen calls me again (and I was sure she was gonna call me again if I was right)

TA-DAH my phone rings!!~

T: *nervously* I don't know what to wear!!

B: *resigned, but smiling* Okay, I'll come up

lol. Made my way upstairs. The living room was deserted. "Tzen~~" I sang out.

Her bedroom door was closed. I knocked. Tzen called out, "Come in"

And I opened the door to find darkness but the three candles lit on my birthday cake :)

"Happy Birthday Anna/Bella!" My friends said sheepishly.

:D

It was sooo funny and soooo sweet that they had planned this out. I didn't expect this at all, and I wish I did not figure things out at the last minute ^^ YOU GUYS DID NOT COUNT ON MY LAZINESS DID YOU! HAHAHAHAH it was funny because they were arguing over whose fault it was that their plan did not work :P

But thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!! It was seriously sweet!!

Special mentions!

Fairuz and Tzen: The masterminds of the plan~ lol. LOVE YOU WOMENNNNN

Tash, Ryan, Mandy, Sheena, Chong: For showing up! THANKIESSS

Iain: FOR THE CARD! I really do love it!! <3

Amee, Lina, Rinni: I know you wanted to be there, but couldn't. Don't worry I still love you guys!!

Pictures on fb, I can't be bothered to post them up here ^^ If you really cared to look you would go to fb now. GO! I SAY GO NOW!! LOL

Okay that is all.

LOVE YOU GUYS! I can't say that enough :D

xoxo bella

Everything At A Standstill

.... when you're not around.

My days are finally slowing down. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the hangouts and driving up and down Bandar Lumut blah blah (I hate my long commute! lol you can tell I'm not a Sony Ericsson user can't you HAHAHA)

Anyway I had the whole house to myself yesterday and today :) I had to work over the weekend but my sisters had Saturday off so they went home. No matter! I finally had everything to myself whee!

So yesterday was crazy hot! According to online sources it was like 40-43 degrees yesterday :(

No likey the heat. But it's nice and cool today though, looks like it's gonna rain :)

I keep having dreams of finding someone I love and running away from them to see if they'd follow. Usually they do, but I can't help but think that it would be otherwise in real life.

Didn't do much other than work. Ran some errands after. Blah blah.

I'm feeling serene??? I don't know. I miss my friends.

My drive to succeed is now officially OBLITERATED. lol. I have no idea where it went. Laziness!! :(

What I've read in the past week:

1) Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

I HATE THIS BOOK! It depressed me to bits and the ending made me feel cheated. Wasted all those emotions on that??? LOLS. Nicely written though, but make sure you're not pmsing when you're reading this. D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-N-G!

2) Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

Final book in the Twilight saga. Not too bad yo!

3) A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

omg this is so good! It was so moving, sad, thoughtful, I love it. :) I should really stop reading in the office though, I must've looked pretty weird biting my lower lip and clenching my jaw trying not to cry. I'm definitely getting his other book The Kite Runner. It reminds me of The Book Thief because the setting is in war torn Afghanistan (where as The Book Thief was on World War II) Do I like books on wars or something? lol. Anyway I really recommend this book!!

Lastly, I wanted to share a song I came across when Perez-ing. Love the video and the song's not too bad :)




Ta!

xoxo bella

ps: Mid-sem break in a week!! :)

Shortlived Epiphany!

I realised yesterday that I focus a little too much on the bad stuff in life these days, and I think I should remind myself about how good I have it:

1. I have a home
2. I have a family that loves me (no matter how dysfunctional we are)
3. I have friends who care about me
4. I still have a chance to make something out of my life
5. I am still healthy, and have all my limbs (now. *touch wood*)

That being said, I was back to whining about the little dramas in life again this morning and also I'm getting lazy already (not doing work, not revising, feel like skipping classes) so that is why I think my epiphany was shortlived :P

Help me people!!

Ta!

xoxo bella

I'm 20 Going On 12

I'M SOOOOO SHORT!!!!! :(

Or this must be for giant kids. Mmm right. lol.

Gawd, so pathetic. All 153cm of me :P

xoxo bella

You So Sexy Like Chopstick

lols! I had muchos fun with the girlies (plus Tashry) yesterday!! Was frickin' exhausted though. I had tutorial at 9 (which I almost forgot about, and hence, was late) then lecture 10 to 11.30 (it always ends half an hour earlier than it should) then I hung around FBEPS with Sheena, Grace and Nazey who got annoyed when we couldn't stop talking about food. WAH! :S

lols. Anyway the reason why I was hanging around there was because I was waiting for Rindy Windy and Miss Fairuzeta to come up bandar. Anyhoos they picked me up and we went to MOE (because Fairuz had to melapor) and then drove around (trying to find OGH HAHA we're so KBian hehe) then we went to Gadong where I couldn't stand the hunger and thus ate at Jollibee. With my friends who are fasting :S I only had a pear for breakfast, I'm so sorry!! but they didn't mind. :D
lalalala they sent me back to UBD cos I had Spanish at 3. Tzen no se siente muy bien (HARHAR the only thing I actually managed to say to Dr Paolo. so sad)

Rushed to work after that.

After work rushed to OGH.

Had dinner. At around 9, left for home. Sat in front of laptop trying to do assignment.

Went to bed around half past midnight.

Woke up at 8 for work :(

Worked till 2.30pm

Came home. blah blah blah I just realised what a boring post this is so I shall end it here :D

Rinni's leaving on the 19th :( :( :( :'( :'( There's just not enough sad smileys to describe how SAD I feel!!!! :( :(

I'm gonna miss hanging out with everyone so much!!! To be honest, you two are like the glue that brings us together. Other than that we're all just so busy, so caught up with other issues, so scattered all around the place.... I'm gonna miss you girlsssssssssss! :(

Gonna miss you toooo Miss Fairuz!!!! :( You haven't been home long enough!! And you're leaving on the 30th! :( But thanks for fixing your flight after my birthday :) WAH I FEEL SO SAD!!!! :( :(

Sigh.

End of suddenly sad post.

:(

xoxo bella

Desperation

... will make you want to believe anything.

Do you know what I mean?

When you're so desperate to have this perfect life, you are willing to blind yourself to people, or make up lies so you don't have to face the truth.

He's only acting that way because he cares.

I'm pretty sure there's someone out there who's in love with me.

I am not a bad person.

He feels the same way.

Do you know what I mean?

But when you just can't lie to yourself anymore, when that illusion shatters, you just see this nothing of a life stretched out before you. Because you're so intent on blinding yourself, you have made pretty much a mess of your life in reality.

It also suddenly hit me how underachieving I really am. (Is there such a term as underachieving?)

My name is synonymous with no particular achievement.

It feels like everyone has moved on with their lives, and I am left behind.

I know this is an emo post. Hehe, sorry. :)

xoxo bella

Muy Loca

I krazy!! It's 12.12am and I still have not finished my taxation assignment.

PROCRASTINATION SUX! Also my sister just HAD to put on Desperate Housewives, and I can't tear my eyes away from it :(

I'm beginning to panic yo. I hope I won't get called on tomorrow and crap, did I just jinx myself by writing that down

I dunno. I just have this thing like if I screw up this tutorial, THE FIRST TUTORIAL, I'm pretty much screwing up the whole semester. I'm also terrified of the lecturer a bit. I don't think I take criticism very well and he seems very critical/mean. :(

I'm so stressed, I'm chugging chocolate milk like no tomorrow HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA chocoholicccc

No booze bah eh. :P

Anyhoos, I have a journal article to summarise, and bulls**t to come up with :D

I have some little anecdotes of my niece to share but I'm thinking I should finish my assignment first.

toodle-a-loo!

xoxo bella