Desperation

... will make you want to believe anything.

Do you know what I mean?

When you're so desperate to have this perfect life, you are willing to blind yourself to people, or make up lies so you don't have to face the truth.

He's only acting that way because he cares.

I'm pretty sure there's someone out there who's in love with me.

I am not a bad person.

He feels the same way.

Do you know what I mean?

But when you just can't lie to yourself anymore, when that illusion shatters, you just see this nothing of a life stretched out before you. Because you're so intent on blinding yourself, you have made pretty much a mess of your life in reality.

It also suddenly hit me how underachieving I really am. (Is there such a term as underachieving?)

My name is synonymous with no particular achievement.

It feels like everyone has moved on with their lives, and I am left behind.

I know this is an emo post. Hehe, sorry. :)

xoxo bella