Change Is Good?

Sheena's latest post has made me think: Should we have to change for the ones we love?

I've always believed that if you really love someone, you would accept him/her regardless of their flaws. Let's say, if I were to change a part of me, wouldn't that make me less ME? I would be different, and not the same person I was. All my life, I have been told that I've been inadequate, not good enough. I still am being put through all that. The difference between then and now, is that I've given up trying to change who I am. I've made peace with the fact that, if they would find that I changed for them, they would continue to point out any flaw that they find, and it will never end. Because there is no such thing as a perfect human being. Everyone has their flaws. These flaws are what makes us different from each other.

I am lazy.
I am a procrastinator.
I make lame jokes.
I am loud.
I am loud AND annoying.
I am a people pleaser.
I can be selfish.
I can be bad-tempered.
I don't exercise.
I can't cook.

Those are some flaws that I know I possess. You say I am lazy. I say you are a perfectionist. You say I can't cook. I say I have brains that I can find a good job with, then I won't have to learn to cook because I can hire someone to cook for me. You say I am ungrateful. I say you are ungrateful to not know what I have put up with all these years, and yet I am still here, and I am still sane. You say I don't exercise. I say at least I have restraint, and I can actually control my eating habits, unlike you.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't change at all. Sometimes change is good. I know that I should get rid of my laziness and procrastination issues. But I can't change all of me. I can't change the way I think. Especially if I know I'm not the one in the wrong. But at least I am open-minded.

When I get my selfish moments, I try not to indulge in them. It's hard, because sometimes I would long for something so bad, I don't think about whoever is affected.

I hate that I am a people-pleaser. I don't think I can ever change that part of me. I only can ask for some people to please give me a break once in a while. Sometimes I am tired, and I get cranky, and I get bitchy. But I've put up with your crap for so long, can you not put up with mine for just a little while? I am a person too, not just your doormat.

I love my friends. They accept me for who I am, and I can really feel that I am liked for who I am.

And to you, thank you for saying that you like my weirdness. Thank you for listening to my whining, thank you for trying to cheer me up when I am depressed, thank you for always making me laugh whenever I cry. I'm sorry for being weird. =)

I know this post sounds like I'm totally self-absorbed. But the only thing I can say is that I don't think I can change for anyone anymore. If I were to change it'll be for me.

P.S: I can learn to cook if I want. I just need a good kitchen, ingredients, utensils and no one to nag me while I try. Oh, and a good cookbook.