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I feel like I have no purpose in life. If I died, I don't think I would've lost anything that's in my future. I honestly think that I won't make anything out of myself. I feel so useless and worthless.

What am I doing to my life? It's so freaking pointless. What can I make of myself anyway? UBD sucks. I hate it. Stupid place. But I've got nowhere else to go. UBD is all I've got, and I know it's hard to get a good, well-paid job without a degree. And I'm not ready to work anyway. What the hell is UBD teaching me? NOTHING. I really don't give a rat's ass about the validity of an argument. I don't care what kind of argument it is. I don't care PERIOD. And why the hell am I taking Islamic Business Ethics? It's like Ugama, in English. And MIB? It's a freaking waste of time. I get it. MIB. It's our country's philosophy. I would feel so much more patriotic if I wasn't subjected to racism. I know you're not fond of us Chinese people ok. We can feel it.

My Microeconomics lecturer is an idiot. She can't freaking count. 2 divided by 0.2 is not 1 you stupid eejit. And your English sucks ass. I feel like I'm wasting my time. These people are wasting my time. If I get a degree, I would feel like I've achieved nothing, since everything I've learnt are pointless and stupid. I actually feel stupider than I was before entering UBD.

I am not going to get anywhere in my life. I can already feel it. I feel like all the chances I've got, I screw up. I did screw up many many opportunities, wasted so many chances I've had. Because I'm so stupid. It's like I'm subconsciously screwing up my life on purpose. I could've gotten that scholarship. I could've gotten better grades. But I'm just too damned lazy and stupid to actually make it work.

What the hell am I whining about anyway? I'm not making much sense, I know. Just venting out my frustrations.

Sigh. I feel slightly better. But still depressed. And not going anywhere.

P.S: Happy Birthday to my lovely Rinni!!!!! Love you woman. Counting the days till you get back. <33