Here We Are Again

God, I can't believe we're at the end of another year again..... I know I sound like a broken record, but it just throws me off, how time can just get away from you.

Anyway, last year I did a round-up of the year with pictures. I'm too lazy to do that this year, because it entails scouring through a boatload of photos. So I'll just ramble. :)

This year, I think I've come to appreciate my friends a little bit more. To be honest, I think before I've been sort of taking some of them for granted. Like they're good for a laugh and all that, but it just seems surfacial (I don't think that's a real word but it's the only one that fits) somehow. But... I realised that it's hard to build the kind of rapport that I have with them, and I realised that I am totally at ease with them, and that I am truly myself when around them. They laugh at my lame jokes (or maybe they're just laughing at me), we never run out of things to talk about, I don't feel uncomfortable talking about personal stuff, and it's always fun with you guys. I really am grateful that we're friends. Damn, I'm actually getting choked up. Moving on!

For the new friendships I've made, I'm grateful for you too.

I also tried to work harder (more in the second half of the year though). I'm thinking that it paid off... We'll see in a week. I think with a little bit more discipline, I'll be flying high.... Ok maybe a lot more discipline. I refuse to let myself get lost again...

Next year I want to push myself even harder. I want to be able to juggle everything and do well. I think next year will be extra busy. I've signed myself up for more working hours. I'm quitting at the end of March to concentrate on exams though, then immediately after exams, work attachment!

Two things that I'm determined to do next year is work harder and save. I figured the fruits of saving would go towards rewarding myself for working hard. :) we'll see how it goes. It's all I've been thinking about this holiday though. Hahaha, it's sad I know. But that's what I'm determined to do!

Umm I guess that's it. Sadly I won't be celebrating the end of the year with a bang, but it's okay. I'll be spending it with family. One of my little cousin's birthday falls on new year's eve (COOL RIGHT?!) so we'll be going over to their place for STEAMBOAT.

2009! Here I come! HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU GUYS!! HUGSSSSSS

xoxo bella

So This Is Christmas...

... and what have you done?

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL! I know this post is a little late, oh man I just looked at the time at it's 12.14am, therefore it's already 27th December. WHOOPSIE. I haven't been online much, NOT because I'm extremely busy, but rather I didn't feel inclined to go online. lol. I'VE GROWN!

hahaha. but seriously, all I've been doing for the past week is reading my many many many books. I'm home home right now so I've been rereading my old books. A bit dusty, but I love them! I love how my shelves are crammed with all sorts of genres of books. Now I look to my left and I see:

1) Bubbles Unbound by Sarah Strohmeyer (I think this is my sister's. I think it was boring.)
2) A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens (I think this book is SO sad!! and I think this book belongs to Tzen :/)
3) Killjoy by Julie Garwood (one of my many many many Julie Garwoods :D)
4) Prince Caspian by CS Lewis ( I think this belongs to my little sister.)
5) Someone Like You by Roald Dahl (A compilation of short stories by the author, and I have a feeling this was lent to me by Rinni during our PJN days...)
6) Sweet Valley University (HAHAHAhAHAHA!!! OMG CLASSIC!)
7) SHOPAHOLIC SERIESSSSSSSSSS
8) The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman (This was given to me by my English teacher back in Form 4 when I won this story writing competition. sigh... One of the few moments of pride I've ever had in my life...)
9) Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince (Hardcover, yo!! but I lost the jacket!! T.T)

AND MANY MANY MORE!!! I don't find being labelled as a bookworm insulting. Au contraire, it is a privilege to be called as such. haha. I dunno what I'm saying. Conclusion: I LOVE BOOKS!

Hmm not a very Christmassy post methinks. meh. Oh well. I'm not feeling very christmassy this season. la dee da!

And what are you people doing for New Year's? Cos I think I'm doing nothing. :/

xoxo bella

Guilt Has Nothing To Do With It

I'M EFFING BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXCLAMATIONMARKEXCLAMATIONMARK!


Sigh.

I'm afraid to eat nowadays because I am gaining weight, too much, too fast. *tear* I was looking at some old photos and I'm like I WANT TO BE THAT SIZE AGAIN. It's like I'm gradually gaining weight over the years.......... I don't want. I don't wantIdon'twantIdontwant

My boss asked me today why I don't go out with the other girls from work. And honestly I don't really know why. I get along with them well enough.. I guess it's cause I always feel awkward and uncomfortable around them, and I guess I'm past the point where I have to WORK for people to be my friends. In my opinion, if I'm at ease with a person right off the bat, then we truly can be friends. :)

I can't believe it's Christmas next week. Sometimes it's scary that time passes so quickly; it's like a thief that steals bits of your life without you knowing it.

I'm counting down.... 7 days to Christmas... 13 days to 2009... 20 days (I'm guessing) till results are out, 3 semesters away from graduation, and the real world.

Damn.

CONGRATULATIONS TO LINA AND RYAN ON FINALLY COMPLETING THEIR HND AND ALSO THEIR FABULOSO RESULTSSSSS!! *confetticonfetti*

How come we UBD students, who finished exams earlier than ITB, have to wait for like a month for our results??? You just want us to stew in our anxiety, don't you. Sadists.

My wisdom tooth from my left lower jaw is making its debut. It aches.

Mmmmm, I don't really know what else to talk about. Meh. Okay I guess that's all.

Ciao!

xoxo bella

I Wanna Make Love

RIGHT NOW NA NA! That song keeps playing in my head!!! And it reminds me of the fake Akon we met at Thai(?sp) Bar. The one that nobody wanted to dance with. Akon FAIL!! LOL

Anyway! I was bored and so wanted to do another senseless questionnaire. (also I'm totally in love with my blog, I keep clicking the headers just to see it slide. I love that slide action baby HAHAHA!!)

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1) Where and when was your last kiss?
- BLAH. and BLAH.

2) What color underwear/boxers/thong wearing now?
- omg these questions are shameless

3) What are you listening to right now?
- I Hate This Part by PCD

4) Whats your favorite number?
- 27?

5) What was the last thing you ate?
- Cadbury's peppermint chocolate

6) When was the last time you smiled?
- probably earlier, laughing at something online

7) How is the weather right now?
- hot during the day, but it's pouring atm.

8) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
- uhhh probably my sister

9) What is your worst habit?
- procrastinating!! WORST EVER

10) Do you drink?
- yeah.. but not that much, and not often.

11) Do you dance?
- yup

12) When was the last time, if ever, you blacked out?
- ......... probably a year ago...

13.) Girlfriend/Boyfriend?
- Robert Pattinson, please.

14) Your Hair color?
- black.

15) Eye Color?
- brown

16) Do you wear contacts?
- yup, shortsighted like crazy and I hate wearing glasses.

17) Favorite day?
- Friday.

18) Favorite Month?
- September? :PP

19) Have you ever cried for no reason?
- omg, like always, I hate my emo-ness

20) What was the last movie you watched?
- TWILIGHTTTTT!!!! LOVEEEE!!!

21) Favorite Day of the Year?
- hmmmm. off the top of my head, CNY. LOL.

22) Are you too shy to ask someone out?
- 'someone' as in a guy I like? probably. I don't think the case is shyness, but the fear of rejection.

23) Last advice you received?
- "wash off your makeup or else you'll get pimples in the morning" - directed by Tzen to a passed-out Mandy, but it scared me out of bed.

24) What was the highlight of your weekend?
- bbq! Miri!

25) Chocolate or Vanilla?
- vanilla!

26) What is the last text message you received?
- I think from my sister saying I don't need to pick her up.

27) What is the last text message sent?
- don't remember eh. probably to my sister.

28) Who was the last person you called?
- my sister. (I totally need to talk/text other people :S)

29) What was the last sports game you watched?
- probably football. I didn't exactly watch it, but it was playing like everywhere in Miri.

30) When was the last time you slept in someone else's bed?
- ahh last weekend??

31) Favorite movies?
- too many to mention

32) Favorite football Team?
- LOL sorry, I don't do football.

33) What were you doing before this?
- watching Private Practice.

34) Any pets?
- nope.

35) Favorite Drink?
- iced lemon tea

36) Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
- buttered!!

37) Dogs or cats?
- dogs!

38) Favorite flower?
- ahhh the really pretty ones I guess.

39) When was the last time you got in trouble?
-hmmm can't remember.

41) Have you ever loved someone?
-I guess....

42) Who would you like to see right now?
- people I'm missing

43) Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
- hmmm the only person I think I still am friends with is Lysa, who is my cousin anyway.

44) Have you ever fired a gun?
- never even held one.

45) Do you like to travel by plane?
- yeah. I get the least of motion sickness.

46) What websites do you go to frequently besides friendster?
- I deleted my Friendster account. FACEBOOK FTW!!

47). If you could be with anybody right now who would it be?
- I don't know...

48) How many pillows do you sleep with?
- One comfortable pillow is all I need. Oh, and my teddy bear.

49) Are you missing someone?
- yes yes.

50) How was your day?
- it was alright.... uneventful.

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number 40 is missing~

okay I'm probably going to bed soon. Toodles!!

xoxo bella

ps: THREE HUNDREDTH POST!!

Give My Regards To Soul And Romance

What do you think? Nice, yes? Removed Feedjit cos it was too bulky and it looked ugly when expanded so no more stalking stalkers, lol. I especially like the sliders. :) :) Took a while cos I haven't switched skins in a while. I hate the html codes.

I'm feeling sick atm. Nausea and stomach pain. Ack. And I still haven't exactly recovered from my fun/tiring weekend. I started work again today, but only up till Friday. Freedom till next year then! WHOOP!

Still don't know what to do new year's eve but probably KK? Yes? No? *shrugs*

Anyway..............

Nothing to ramble about now so TA!!

xoxo bella

Twilight

Actually this post is just going to be about Robert Pattinson. OMG! I am so in love with him now. There are very few actors that can make me swoon and lately Jake's been MIA so I've fallen out of love with him and am now infatuated with ROBERT PATTINSON!

I cry from the sheer beauty that is thee, sweet Robert~

I mean how perfect is it that the main character in Twilight is called Bella! Whenever my name passed through his lips I thought that I could die happy. HAHAHAHAAH!! No seriously, he is so hot. I've always thought that he was good-looking (even as Cedric in Harry Potter I noticed) but omg. He just oooooozzeedddd sexxxxinesssssss. RAWR! He is so gorgeous. I hope I dream about him tonight. hahahahahahahahahhahah *dreamy smile*

Twilight wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Vampires are such sexy creatures in that movie. :/

Too lazy to talk so much. Ok bye bye

xoxo bella

I Don't Care What You Think

as long as it's about me

So I was thinking the other day.

End. Update: I had thought!

LOL

Okay seriously, I was thinking, how I should stop whining to my parents about how miserable I am. If I were in their shoes, and my kid was complaining about how unhappy she was or how sucky her life is, I would feel like such a failure as a parent. Which isn't true. No matter what, I think I'm happy that I turned out the way I did.

I can take care of myself. I'm smart. I'd like to believe that I'm strong... Even if I'm emotionally fragile sometimes... but I'll still survive. I know what's important and what's not. I think I'm quite mature for my age.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I just think that all those qualities, I must've gotten from the way my parents raised me. They're not perfect, but in my family, my father is the figure of strength, and my mother represents patience. And I'd like to think I inherited a bit of those from both of them.

I'm saying all this because I'm feeling a little homesick. I want to go home where my parents will take care of me. It's a little lonely up here :( I want to feel like a daughter.

Ok ok enough brooding hehe. Now reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova :)

xoxo bella

For You A Thousand Times Over

Hello!

Just thought I should update on some stuff, cos my previous post wasn't really much of an update. So I had my last paper last saturday and it didn't go as well as it could've. Friday night I managed to get a migraine which made it really hard to read through Tax one last time so I took an actifast for it. Two hours later my head was still pounding and I couldn't do much except lie on my bed and groan so I took another one, which thankfully kicked in after almost an hour. Then I just read through some of the chapters so I could remember all the details (it's annoying cos there are a lot of rules and treatment for different stuff) but after a while I decided to sleep and wake up at 6 to finish off the last remaining chapters. I set my alarm at 5.45 (15 minutes for me to loll about in bed before actually getting up)

I woke up feeling strangely refreshed... looked towards my window... 'Wow, it's mighty bright for 5.45am....' Pause. Strange, I don't remember my alarm ringing................. holy crap. I make a scramble for my phone and saw: 8.13am.

My exam starts at 9am. At this time I am usually already at the examination hall.

So I scramble to the toilet, and washed up as quickly as I could. Threw on a baju kurung, collected my stuff. Drove like a maniac to uni. Anyway, my hair was in disarray and my head was still feeling a little stuffy. I didn't manage to finish my revision, and yeah. I was very upset.

I'm okay right now, cos really, I have no one to blame but myself. Anyway next time I'm not taking more than one actifast. No way no how. I'll take the pain.

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I watched Bolt sometime last week with Tzen. (Oh and Nana came over to say hi, but I couldn't tell who it was at first cos it was soooooo dark, so she was like chattering on and on while I was like who the eff is this? hahahha)

ANYWAY.

9/10!!!!!!!!

IT IS SOOOOO FRICKIN HILARIOUS!!!! And although it pains me to say this, but it is probably better than Wall-e. I sooooo recommend it people, and I wanna watch it again!!!! I was laughing throughout the whole movie, except for one part where we teared up because it was sad :'( but it is so very good. LOVED IT. I WANNA WATCH IT AGAIN!!!! I promise that you would love it.

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I just finished reading 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini. I really don't know whether it's better than 'A Thousand Splendid Suns', but I think I found The Kite Runner sadder... It's just so... I don't know. It's very good. I put down the book feeling happy and sad at the same time. I think the theme of the whole book was redemption. Could you possibly make up for the sins that you've committed? Again, it is based in war-torn Afghanistan. It's very sad to read all the atrocities that was committed in the book, because it is probably committed in real life. So horrible. I felt so disgusted and outraged.

Okay haha, better not give away too much, pero este libro es estupendamente. :) :)

I have a few other books that I've not read yet so I'm looking forward to those.

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Okay I guess that's all.... I'm wondering where everyone is because even though it's the hols there doesn't seem to be much activity online.. but then again I haven't been online much either. haha.

See ya.

xoxo bella

Tagged

Okay I got tagged by Razan so here it is.

1. What’s the relationship between you and her/him?
- coursemates, though we only had one course together this sem, and I think none next sem!! haha well anyway uni mates then!!

2. Your 5 impressions towards her/him?
- very good boy, very nice boy, very rajin boy, very mean boy, very orange boy (malas I want to think bah zan. anyway it's all true :P)

3. The most memorable things she/he have said to you.
- Once, I was saying that I think I'm developing muscles from going gymming and he blurted EWWWWW :(

4. The most memorable things she/he had done for you
- not FOR me, TO me lah!! I received a nudge from him on MSN at 4am (I had left it on overnight) and when I asked him why the next day, he said that it wasn't him. And I got freaked out because I am gullible :(

5. If she/he becomes your lover, you will:
- Get him to do my assignments HAHAHAHA

6. If she/he becomes your enemy, you will:
- kick him when he's not looking. OH I KNOW, I'll steal your iTouch :P

7. If she/he becomes your love, she/he has to improve on
- belanja all the time.

8. If she/he becomes your enemy, the reason is
- probably I did something to piss him off :( like steal his iPhone or kick him

9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is?
- ON HIM? WTH?? err I usually just poke you. in the arm. with my finger. frequently. hehe.

10. The overall impression of him/her is
- oh yeah I forgot first time I saw him, I thought he was a sleepy quiet boy. Because he looks sleepy all the time and I don't think he talked to me until like second or third semester :P

11. How do you think the people around you feel about you?
- dunno.

12. The characteristic that you think you have?
- cracking lame jokes.

13. The characteristic that you possess that you hate?
- my tendency to fall into depression

14. The most ideal person that you want to be is?
- hm. I don't think there's a point to answering this. I am who I am.

15. For the people who care about you and like you, say something about them?
- Thanks for putting up with me :) I know I can be annoying and difficult sometimes. Love you all!!

16. Name ten people

• Sheena
• Grace
• Mandy
• Tzen
• Ryan
• Iain
• Razan
• Elvis
• Fairuz
• Rinni

(lol that's like almost all my friends :)

17. Who is No. 2 having a relationship with?

- HAHAHA I KNOW WHO SHE WANTS TO HAVE ONE WITH LAHHHH WINK WINK

18. No. 3 a male or female?
- Female

19. If No. 7 and No. 10 were together, would it be a good thing?
- hahahaha seeing as they're both taken, and have never met each other, I don't think it's possible.

20. How about No.5 and No. 8?
- LOLLLL yeah No.5 wishes

21. What is No. 1 studying?
- Degree in Business Administration

22. Is No. 4 single?
- No lah, she's my girlfriend. HAHAHAHA

23. Say something about No. 6?
- He likes to say hi

hahaha. Ok now from Mandy's blog :P

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The rules are simple. Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of results, and post it as your answer. Then tag 7 people.

My age next birthday

Do the math

A place I'd like to travel to

around the globeeee

A favourite place

bed! my bed

A favourite thing

you being friendsies!! people I love!!

Favourite food

Favourite colour

Town I live in

Kiulap, because a picture of Lumut is hard to find. I'm always up here anyways

Nickname I have

minus the bandanas :P

College major

Name of my love

UPDATED: 11/12/08, after watching Twilight. I am in love with Robert Pattinson :(

Bad habit

omg, that is spot on :S

Wishlist

Happiness

Travelling

$$$$$

tagging everyone on blogroll!!! :)


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omg that was exhausting ta people!!

xoxo bella

ps: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! HOORAY FOR FREEDOM!! WHOOPEEEEE

How Do I Feel This Good Sober?

If you're wondering why my titles are sounding a little random and cryptic lately, it's cos I've given up on coming up with titles that sounds good and that have anything to with the subject of my blog. I've decided to just use lyrics from songs that I like the sound of. Anyway you can have fun guessing which song it's from too (SEE IT DELIVERS MORE THAN ONE PURPOSE)

I'm holidaying like exams are over :/ Ah well.

I've been feeling angry lately because I think I've been feeling resentful (to certain individuals more than others) and I guess when that much resentment builds up you just can't control your reactions anymore. Resentment, it's the story of my life. I resent the fact that people take me for granted sometimes. I resent the fact that I am only your friend when it's convenient. I resent the fact that I can't be needy, and yet people expect me to take care of their needs. I resent that my life is nothing like I thought it would be. (Not depressed now, just feeling jaded. J-J-JADED)

I'm a little self-absorbed, lol. Meh. Whatever. Who isn't, anyway?

Tabs opened to: Facebook, Blogger, Cracked, National Geographic.

WHICH OF THESE THINGS DO NOT BELONG!

The squid with elbows creeps the hell out of me. HEHEHE I just searched for "gnomes" on the site. No show. DAMN!

Back to real life. And by that I mean I'm going to lie in bed and waste more time.

xoxo bella