Happiness

Can someone be truly truly happy?

What is happiness anyway?

I experience happiness in temporary bursts of joy and light-heartedness. Other than that, I think I'm mostly just resigned to how my life is. I don't think there's actually something like "happily ever after". I would think that's rather impossible. Can you imagine how annoying it would be to meet someone who was happy all the time, everywhere?

I've always found people who are cheerful 24/7 quite annoying.

When I just wanna bitch about everything that's going wrong in my life, and lament about a mistake or failure, I would really really like it if whoever I'm with would empathise with me.

Please don't say something like: Look on the bright side... at least you've got your health! Or: There's no point in complaining, because you can't change the past...

Honestly, I feel like punching that person in the face when he or she says something like that. Is it wrong to want to bitch about life sometimes? I just want to VENT. Leave me be, bitching about it.

*glowers*

What does it mean when you want to quit something you are sure won't work? Would it be right to quit because you would just be putting off the inevitable? Or are you just a coward, giving up so easily because you are just scared that you would be hurt?

My mind is in such turmoil right now... I sometimes wish that I could just talk to someone, and he or she would tell me exactly the right thing to do...

Instead of happiness, I believe that you can only be content with your life. You accept it as it is, and although it might not be the ideal life, you are somewhat pleased with how your life turned out.

The concept of "happily ever after" is overrated.

Revelations

You know how people can surprise you?

Someone you thought was pretty much shallow and immature can turn out to be practical and capable of deep thought.

Someone you thought you could depend on anything, and support you in whatever you do, can turn his/her back on you.

People can surprise you. They have layers. Sometimes they uncover a part of them that they usually don't show to others. Sometimes you are pleasantly surprised, sometimes you get disappointed.

Two people: Q and R.

I used to think I could talk to Q about everything. But lately.. I feel like Q has been looking upon me as if I was a lower being, one who does not know much. I hate it when Q makes me feel stupid. And I can't explain it, but Q does not seem to be happy with recent developments in my life, events that has brought me some degree of happiness. I can't talk to it to Q, because I see in Q's face this expression of boredom, and sometimes disdain. It hurts, because I thought Q would support me in everything I've done, or at least be there for me... I don't know. Maybe it's my imagination.

R, on the other hand, I thought, could never handle my problems or depression. But I was surprised the other night when I had the most mature conversation I've ever had with R. R made me feel like I wasn't alone, and I did not feel any judgement or pity from R's side. Usually I can't tell my friends everything, because I sense that they don't exactly want to hear it, and they don't know what to say about it anyway. But R actually made me laugh about it, when I just let out all my worries and problems. Especially about a certain individual who has been giving me trouble. When I told R about it, R kept quiet for a second and simply said, "Wow, he's an ass." Which led me to laugh, because it was so obvious and such an understatement. It feels so good to know that R is on my side... and we talked about everything, from trivialities to serious stuff like the future.

Like somewhere I once read: "Good conversation is when you talk about everything and nothing in particular."

Well my point is, people can surprise you. Never assume that the surface is all there is. Still water runs deep.

Warped

I am so screwed up...

Someone help me.

Boredom and doing nothing screws me up.

=((((( --> look at all my unhappy chins. lol.

Hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nothing to say. Bye bye.

Just Because

... I want to blog and I have nothing to blog about so this post is here just because. (That was completely unnecessary wasn't it? Whateverrrrr)

I am listening to: Last Night - P. Diddy ft Keyshia Cole

Now, it is in my opinion, the song should be listed as Keyshia Cole ft P. Diddy, because helloooooo she sang for like 95% of the song. All Diddy did was mostly, Laast niightt, I couldn't even get an answer..~

In that gali voice again that. Eesh. Gives me goosebumps. Not the good kind of goosebumps, but the kind you get when you hear creepy whispers in the dark. Laast niight...

Oh I am still loving Robin Thicke's Lost Without You. <3

Sigh.

Went out with Mandy and Wilson just now.

......

I don't know why, but I feel down. I feel like it's not going anywhere. Not that there's no potential, but like it can't go anywhere... I hate that, deep down inside, I have this feeling that it won't last... I think too much, don't I? But I don't know... I just feel like crying.

Too early for PMS.

There's just so many constraints... Ok for a friend? But otherwise no?

After all this time, it kills me that I still yearn for approval. I should know better. But I can't help it. I gave up trying to be the perfect daughter, but I still hate displeasing him. I think that's why I'm down. And I can't even tell Wilson about it. It would upset him, I know, so I didn't tell him, even though he asked me what's wrong.

It took me a while to get over the fact that my boyfriend is basically persona non grata among most of his ex-classmates, but I know it's cause they find him annoying, because he definitely can be insensitive and rude. I have an immunity to him though, and I really wonder where I got it. So weird. But yeah hehe.

Is it weird that sometimes I find that he reminds me of my dad? I think in terms of ego, they are definitely equal. Seriously, sometimes I'll be freaked out if Wilson says something that sounds like what my father would typically say. =/ I feel like I need therapy. Am I a freak? Eek.

Two strong personalities usually don't get along. Yup yup. So my dad and Wilson together would be a no-no. Heck, I don't even know who can out-annoy who. (Yes my dad could be Wilson's equal. Now isn't that scary.)

Huahahahahha I don't know what I'm talking about. Hmm.

Bah later peeps.

ps: I wanna go clubbing!!!!!!!!! =(

(Insert Swear Word Here)!!!!!!!!

GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell!

I am pissed off!! (Eh btw, is it wrong to say "I'm pissed"? I used to leave the "off" out until I realised I might only be saying that I'm drunk..)

Anyway, back to me being pissed (off).

One 1.5litre Coke bottle. And that's Coke with a zest of Lime too! Wow.

One thirsty Bella, who feels like drinking something gassy fizzy, refreshing and cold.

Fizzy=Coke.
Refreshing=something with zesty lemon taste=Coke Lime.
Cold= Coke Lime from the fridge.

I took the full, unopened Coke bottle from the fridge. I attempted to open it.

No go. Covered my hand with a cloth for a less painful way to open the damned thing. Still no go.

WTF. I want Coke and I want it now!!!!

Twist. Twist twist some more. I stopped and looked at my reddened palm. Ow.

I went to kitchen and got a knife. The bottle cap was like freaking melded to the mouth of the bottle ya.

Minutes later, a mutilated Coke bottle cap later. Even though I managed to cut into the notch which is supposed to separate easily btw, the damn thing still won't open!!! MELDED I TELL YOU MELDED. I wanted to actually stab the bottle and drink from the hole for a second. CB bottle. My sister would kill me though. Who knows, maybe she'll have better luck opening it.

So where does that leave me?

One unhappy, cranky Bella with her left palm stinging, drinking ORANGE JUICE. Pissed off I am. Nasty aftertaste I have in my mouth. I mean, I don't mind orange juice and all, but I wanted Coke... *cries*

Also, screw bellatitis. It sucks. I wanted to blog and opened the window and all. But when I wanted to start typing, somehow these stupid fingers pressed a particular combination of key which closed the window. Leaving me stupidly thinking, Hey... where'd it go??

Stupid. PO'd I definitely am. Sakit my tangan. PALOI. I'm feeling diva tantrum worthy again.

Also, I'm allergic to cats.

And I'm missing people who I have not seen in a while.

I cranky again.

Lost in Translation

Nothing eventful in the last 12 hours.

Slept the whole afternoon away =)

Woke up, washed face and brushed teeth before munching on some pastries because I was damned hungry.

Sudoku!!! I suck at it, but it sure is addictive. Showered only after I managed to complete two of them.

Ate.

Went online. Left laptop to play a spot of lami. An hour plus later we stopped and I went back to laptop.

Turns out the only time when I wasn't online, the stupid boy actually came online and went off just ten minutes before I went on again. TIMING JUA EH! =(

---

What was lost in translation? Heheh, while playing lami my dad was also watching a live tennis match on ESPN.

Bella: What are you watching?
Dad: Tennis bah... It's live.
Bella: Oh.. What tournament is it kan?
Dad: It's the *mumble* Open.
Bella: Hah? Humbug Open???
Dad: Yeah, the *mumble* open.
Vicki: What? Humpback Open??
Dad: Yea bahh, *mumble* bah
Bella: HAH? Handbag?
Dad:*exasperated* Humbug/humpback/handbag Open bahh!!
Bella: *stares*
Dad: You know like Hamburger?
Bella: OH HAMBURG OPEN!!!! HAIYAAAA
Dad: Yeahh!!

-__-"

I am addicted to Maybe - N.E.R.D.

Bye bye now!

So Much Time

Damn!!!!!!!!

I am sooooooo cranky!!!!! Gah, you won't believe how cranky and pissy I'm feeling right now. I feel like throwing a little diva tantrum here.

Diva tantrum: screaming and wailing like a banshee, lying on the floor banging fists and kicking legs, tears optional.

I just am feeling frustration and boredom in general. Frustrated why? I'm not sure, but maybe it has to do with everything not going where I want them to go.

I'm paranoid about my performance in exams. I don't want to take any supplementary papers. I really hope I won't have to, but I am especially worried about IBE and MIB, of which there isn't any supplementary for the latter, meaning I'd have to retake the whole course next semester if I fail. Obviously, I do not want that. Seriously, it'll suck.

Life seems to be going nowhere right now. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. And I'm not even sure what that means. I think I get like this whenever there's a long holiday. Holidays make me depressed. Because I usually have nothing to do, and too much time to think. I think too much!!! Why isn't there an 'off' button to the brain? It would be so useful. How? Let me list out the applicable scenarios:


Playing Dumb

Parent: Boy! Come here!!
Son: What?
Parent: Don't you take that tone with me, you come here when I tell you to!
Son: *irritable sigh* Yes sir?
Parent: What's this that I found in your closet?!
Son: *peers at porn magazines guiltily* Err..
Parent: Well??

Brain Switch: OFF

Son: Durr... Me dunno..
Parent: Don't you play dumb with me Bobby!!
Son: Bobo no play.. *drooling*

Cover My Back

Bill: Hey Kris, I gotta talk to you.
Kris: Yeah what's up man?
Bill: I'm gonna ask you something alright, and you gotta tell me the truth.
Kris: Er, sure..
Bill: I think Lisa's cheating on me.
Kris: ......
Bill: Thing is... I think she's cheating on me with one of our friends.
Kris: (Damn! I told Mark to leave me out of this! Dammit! Ok stay cool)
Kris: And your question...?
Bill: Dude, I think it's either Mark or David. Since you're rooming with Mark, I'm sure you would notice if he's been seeing Lisa lately. So...?
Kris: (Damn damn damn) Well we haven't really been hanging out lately...
Bill: Oh, so has he been unusually busy lately? Anything out of the ordinary?
Kris: Uhhh welll...
Bill: Is he on the phone a lot more? Has Lisa been at your place more frequently lately?
Kris: Err...
Bill: *getting suspicious* Kris, come on...

Brain Switch: OFF

Kris: Ooohhh birdieeee
Bill: Dude, what the hell, leave my hair alone, and look, about Mark and Lisa-
Kris: Ooooo *yanks*
Bill: Dude stop it!!!!
Kris: Heeheee Billy angry *yanks harder*
Bill: FCKKKK that hurts
Kris: *toying with a fluff of what used to be Bill's hair*
Bill: Screw this man, I'll just ask Mark myself.
Kris: *releases fluff into the air* Fly birdie flyyyy

Meltdown

Stressed Ned: I wish they'd stop dumping so much stuff on me...
Wife Thelma: I'm sure it'll be over soon honey..
Stressed Ned: You don't get it!!! It's not easy!! I have so much hanging on this project, and yet they're piling up other stuff on me!!!
Wife Thelma: I'm sure it's hard but-
Stressed Ned: *ranting* What do you do anyway?? Stay at home! You know nothing!!! I'm the one who keeps this house running!! I pay the bills! I pay for the food! I pay for the kids' tuition!
Wife Thelma: Now calm down dear-
Stressed Ned: It's easy for you to say, 'There, there, it'll be okay' but it's not that easy!
Wife Thelma: I know it's not, dear it's not my fault so-
Stressed Ned: Dammit does no one appreciate what I do in this house?! *rants some more*
Wife Thelma: DAMMIT just calm down and SHUT UP *grabs Ned by the neck*

Brain Switch: OFF

Relaxed Ned: Mmm..... *visibly deflates*
Wife Thelma: There isn't that better?
Relaxed Ned: I want cookie
Wife Thelma: Not now dear, it's late right now
Relaxed Ned: Cookieeeee
Wife Thelma: I'll bake a batch tomorrow just for you
Relaxed Ned: COOKIE *starts crying*
Wife Thelma: Aw shit, ok ok stop crying

--

Hmm... That was such a load of crap. I have such a gift of bull-shitting. A natural bullshit-artist. Yay me. Ok gonna go read my Stephen King and nap after that. Ciao.

ps: Alyaa!! Hope your dad's doing fine!!! *hugs*

Zonkers

Blahhhh I'm feeling quite exhausted, and yet people I am here chatting, blogging and being all jobless in Facebook. I like Facebook! I love joining random groups, yeah I'm that jobless.

What did I do today?

Woke up at 7 to go Miri. Shop shop shop! Ran into Mandy somewhere around the afternoon in Parkson. Yeah she looked so shocked lor, you thought I stalked you is it? Heheh.

Retail therapy? A bag and new pair of shoesies! AND books courtesy of Belle's Bookshop.

- Stephen King's Cell
- Mitch Albom's For One More Day
- Judith McNaught's Every Breath You Take

I love E! Entertainment Channel! Love love! I watched THS: Mark Wahlberg. I love Mark Wahlberg!! But from watching that show I found out he has (sort of) a third nipple!! I'm not kidding la. Hrmmphh... But I still like him... =( I fell in love with him in The Italian Job. So hot. Such a cool movie.

Kupo!

(Moogle talk is adorable!)

Bah, see my mood swings really bad. I am happy now.

Handphone was sufficiently noisy. The attention whore in me has been satisfied.

Boyfy leaving for China, yes again, tomorrow. Eh, I'm actually used to it liao. But of course I shall still miss him very the much, since there'll be no texting (stupid bmobile no roaming in China). SILENCIO FOR 9 DAYS-O????

Noooooooooo..... Tis very saddening to think of.

Headache... Headache headache headache...

Gonna shower after this and go out with the sister.

Why my english cacat ah? Fuhh fuhhh...

Bella has been possessed by a doped up Moogle!! KUPO!!!!!!

LOL!!!!!

OMG someone slap me.

*smack*

B: OIIIII WHO ASK YOU TO SLAP AH?
Moogle: You said someone slap you.
B: F- you, you don't exist.
Moogle: Kupo!

---

Eh, I just realised why I can stand Wilson. Because I am one of the few that can annoy him! YAH!!!!!!! I love insulting him. Lucky he quite thick-faced. Hahah. Bah gtg shower now.

Bye bye.

Me, Me, Me, ME

Am I self-centred? I don't know. But I think I am a bit of an attention whore. I need attention.

(Warning: Extreme randomness in this post)

God, I'm so bored. And mildly depressed. And by mildly I mean I'm so depressed I'm numb.

I hate feeling insecure of myself. Vulnerable. Uncertain. That's why sometimes I think I'm better off alone. No one to please(or disappoint) but myself. I seriously don't know what I'm talking about dammit.

Why am I so weird? Why can't I be simple? Why do I have to experience all this stupid dramatic depression episodes?

"Life is a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get."

-- Forrest Gump

Why must it be chocolates? I want simplicity! SIMPLE SIMPLE SIMPLE!

I haven't cried in a while. I used to cry all the time because I'm so emotional. But now, even if I want to, I can't. I wonder what that means.

I'm feeling fat again. There goes my restraint. Five light meals? Now five heavy meals with snacking sessions.

I eat a lot more when I get depressed. There you go, I just finished a packet of wafer sticks. Whee.

Ok ok, I'll get to whatever's been bothering me: silent handphone.

If there's anything I hate, it's a silent handphone. Dammit. I don't feel loved. I don't feel missed.

Seriously, what's going on? (I might delete or edit this post if I end up angst-ing over nothing haha)

I feel like I've been pissing everybody off lately. And on purpose. I don't know why I do that. It's uncontrollable. I'm hating myself at the same time that I'm being rude and bitchy. What the helllllll

Is he rubbing off on me? Soon will my own friends not want to talk to me?

I am so needy. But I have pride. That's kind of a bad combination. Because now I just feel miserable because I'm not getting enough attention, but I don't go crawling for it. Mind games... they suck.

I hate feeling stupid. Bah. Oh no, I recognize this depression as the same one I was in last semester. Damn damn damn WHY?!

Anyway, will probably blog later. A more cheery post I think. Heeyeah!

Strange Situations

My horoscope yesterday said:

"A surprising situation would make a close relationship more intense..."

Now I don't usually believe in horoscopes. Seriously, I think their vagueness makes it easier for some predictions to come true. I am a Libra. And I am definitely not the only one. So what does that mean, that yesterday every single Libra would experience the exact same fate? Or is that not how horoscopes work? Confusing stuff it is.

I think knowing what's to happen would take the fun out of surprises eh?

But back to yesterday's horoscope.

Was there a surprising situation? I guess you could say that. I think what makes it surprising is that it was so weird. Amazing what PMS and moodiness can do to a relationship.

Was there a close relationship? Yeah... Enough said here.

Did it get more intense? I don't know about intense per se, but something definitely happened yesterday. I am still trying to figure out what. I am seriously clueless. Apparently we've moved to the next level. Hah? What is the next level? And what the hell happened? Maybe he's the one who's moved and I'm still on the lower level trying to figure out where he went. APAKAN, I don't get it wah!!!!

I thought I was the complex, moody, unpredictable one. Of course now I'm intrigued that there's something more to him, rather than this annoying ass who gets a kick out of pissing me off all the time. I can apparently piss him off too. Whoopa! (I love it Sheena, it's like the new Yippee!)

I had a weird dream. (Suddenly thought of Martin Luther King Jr.)

In the dream it was all normal. I was in a relationship, I was in hostel, blah blah.

But it's like all dramatic. The 6pm curfew controversy was magnified by a hundred, with some authorities searching through our rooms for contraband (I didn't know what there were searching for, but I thought drugs and condoms). There were a bunch of us girls waiting near the staircases till we can get our rooms back, and I saw this girl that I know.

She smiled at me and came over to talk.

Girl: Hey, how's it going with Mark*? (*Fake name I don't remember what his name was)

Me: Mark? (in the dream I was feeling suspicious and a bit panicky, and I remember thinking, what is she talking about?)

Girl: Yeah, Mark. You know, my boyfriend's brother who also says that you are the love of his life?

Me: *staring open-mouthed at her* (In my head I was thinking, shit, how could I've forgotten that he was her boyfriend's brother? Yes people, I was having a clandestine affair >_<)

Me: Oh... so you know?

Girl: Yeah I know, you're all he's been talking about.

Me: (feeling a rush of happiness and love for Mark) Yeah... I feel the same way.

We exchange smiles.

Me: *smile disappears* I have to tell you something though... I have a boyfriend.

Girl: *gasps in horror*

Me: Mark doesn't know...

Girl: OMG... What are you gonna do?

Me: I don't know!! I love my boyfriend, but then I met Mark, and now I don't know what to do!!

Girl: ......

Anyway, that was pretty much the end of my dream. But I woke up feeling so guilty and wanting to break up with my boyfriend. But then I realised there was no Mark.

But it's bothering me that I actually had the intention of breaking up with him, even though it was based on false facts.

I'm making so much out of nothing right? But man... that dream felt so real... And I could actually feel the intensity of my emotions. And for a second, I was feeling sad that there was no Mark.

I am so weird. Stupid dream. I blame the weirdness of yesterday. So soap opera-ish.

Harrowing Experience(s)

Yesterday I saw two things that I never ever wanna see again. First incident:

Dog Day Afternoon

Vicki and I just came back from Bandar and we were already almost home. Then Vicki noticed a dog on the grassy area outside our house gate.

V: Ewwwwww look at the dog, it's shitting outside our house!!!

B: Huh?

Then I saw the dog, squatted in an unnatural position, and yes indeed, it was doing number two on the grass. I unfortunately could not pull my eyes away from the horrific sight. I actually saw the shit falling slowly, slowly, slooooooooowly and could actually hear the soft thud when it dropped onto the grass.

B: *screaming my head off* OMG!!! DISGUSTING DOG!!!! AAAHHH!!!

V: *laughing* Oh look at it running away, it saw us.

B: OMG we just had a SHIT AND RUN!!! *both of us laughing hysterically*

Second incident:

A Reptilian Encounter

When we settled down at home, we just bummed around for a while. I ate, took a shower and bummed around some more. Then we wanted to get my mum a cake for Mother's Day(today) so we had to order one day earlier right? So Vicki was too lazy to drive down to KB so I said I would do it. I made Gloria(second sister) come with me. So we got into the car and I reversed out of the garage. Then went out of the gate.... Then when I turned left out of our compound I noticed something in the middle on the road. Upon driving closer, I was horrified to see what it was:

A freaking HUGE monitor lizard!! OMG it was so disgusting!!!!! (OMG Sheena... you would've probably already fainted at the sight of it, I was terrified)

Disgusting ehhhh!! It was crawling soooo slowly and I couldn't move forward because it was blocking the way. And its tongue!! Aiyerrrrrrrrrrrr so loooooooooonggggg and BLACK!! It was doing the whole slithery movement thingy with its tongue eeeeee!!! And it was coming towards MY side of the car!!! I was sooo scared that it was gonna jump on the car or something with it's lizard-like, reptilian reflexes or whatever. It did NOT look like a harmless lizard. It was coming closer.... closer.... CLOSER...

B: OMG OMG OMG OMG it's so disgusting OMG OMG IT'S COMING CLOSER!!!! OMG *looks around and panicking*

I did the only thing that would make me feel safe from the creature. (It made sense at the time)
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I locked the door.

At this point my sister Gloria started laughing at me.

G: You think it's gonna turn into cicakman then open the door and ATTACK you issit??

B: I don't care!!!! Did you see its tongue!? SO LONG!! AND BLACKK!!! DISGUSTING!!!!!

Aiyerrrrr *goosebumps*

I never knew how disgusting monitor lizards were.

Later at dinner Gloria related the incident to the whole family. They thought it was hilarious that I locked the door against the lizard.

Dad: Oh that monitor lizard ahh?? It's always around. It lives under the bridge outside our house baa..

B: *stunned into horrified silence*

I shall now be wary whenever I venture out of the house. Who knows what lurks in the shadows(or longkangs)...

PS: PALOI connection. Cannot masuk MSN. LOUSY!!!

BoreDUMB

Hahaha I don't know what that post title means, but I just wanna stress on how bored I am. BoreDUMMMBBBBBBBBBB

Exams are almost over. ALMOST. But the worse are over. Did I just type that? OMG I mean the worst is over. Sheesh, I cannot believe my grammar. I must hang out with too many Chinese people. *coughSheenacoughcoughTzencoughcoughcoughGracecough* Yalah, I actually found myself saying faint the other time. *glares at Grace*

See how bored I am? I am experimenting with different sized fonts and colours now. Looks kinda pretty doesn't it?

Yay I spent the day with smelly boy yesterdayyyyy!!! I missed the boy :D

And oh yeah, the worst is over!

• Monday 7/5- Melayu Islam Beraja *fart noises*
• Tuesday 8/5 - Logic and Thinking II
• Wednesday 9/5- Introduction to Microeconomics *more fart noises*
• Thursday 10/5- Introduction to Information & Communication Technology
• Saturday 12/5- English for Management II
• Tuesday 15/5- Islamic Business Ethics

Sikitttttt lagiiii!! Ya yaaaa!!!

Then what ah? Damn I still haven't typed up a cover letter for my CV. Argh dammit. I don't feel like working, but I should. Hrrrmmmmm...

Kingdom Hearts 3? No Kingdom Hearts 3? I read that it's a new series that sort of acts like a prequel to KH. So it probably won't be called KH3. But still. I watched the trailer. I was =O

I wantttttttttttt..

What to do now ahh...?

Death and Remembrance

Death is a inevitable fact of life. We don't live forever. We know that sooner or later, everyone will leave this world. So why is it that when it actually happens, we are never ready for it?

I've always been easily upset by the occurrences of death. I remember crying my eyes out over 9/11, and the war in Iraq, the unnecessary deaths... Imagine how many loved ones were lost in those events.

Those events are tragic, and I can only just imagine the pain people go through when finding out that they've lost a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, or a friend... The worst thing about death, are the people that get left behind. These are the people who go through life with only the memories of their beloved departed. What of them?

I've just heard upsetting news about an acquaintance that I've met just a few months back. I've talked to him a couple of times, and from what I can tell, he's a nice, quiet guy. Very laidback and gives off a gentle aura.

His father has just been diagnosed with cancer, and given at most only 2 weeks to live...

It's just such a sad thing to watch someone you love die... but I guess the only thing that can be done is to be there for them as a friend. I hope his friends are giving him the support he needs right now.

One of my oldest friends, my wonderful girl-friend, lost her mother about a year ago to the same disease... I've seen how loss can affect someone so deeply, and it's just... I don't know. I felt so helpless.

I think I've been living in a bubble of oblivion for too long. I just prefer to think that bad things never happen in life, that all is happiness and sunshine. I take refuge in my ignorance. Ignorance is bliss. So so true. Why else is there global warming today? Apathy. We know it's there, but we choose to ignore it...

I've digressed.

I hope that everything will be ok... I know that's such a stupid wish to make, but I do. Regardless of how illogical and ignorant that sounds.

Anyway, I better continue studying for Microeconomics. Stupid subject.

Profanity And Fakeness

I've noticed that I've been swearing a lot more these days. Damn. I blame stress and over-exposure to Entourage.

****

I've always hated fake people. But there's one kind of fake bitch that I SOOO totally cannot stand. I've christened them the "Fake Slutty Bitch Who Loves To Whore Around For Guy's Attention"

You know those kind?

Well, let me describe this "person". She is usually female. She's the kind that flirts around with guys, read: a fcking ****tease. Dammit I seriously cannot stand these kind of girls. She'll go giggle and touch these guys here and there then when one of the guys go too far (as if she wasn't asking for it) she'll push them away playfully and go giggle some more, acting all coy goddammit disgusting (*&*&%^%$%#

*deep breath*

These kind of girls are usually hated by most girls, but loved by most guys. I say "most". Because some stupid girls actually trail these kind of girls around worshipping the ground they walk on, while some guys can actually see through the facade (love these guys =D)

The worst specimen of this horrid horrid species would exhibit these signs:

• She does all those things above
• She walks around like she's hot stuff and owns the goddamned place
• She's fcking UGLY as sin, yet guys would lust for her
• She's fcking UGLY as shit. (This has to count twice)
• She has a boyfriend, yet she still sluts around for guys' attentions, sitting in their laps, touching them here and there, and vice versa
• She's a bitch to other girls, yet acts like an angel to guys
• She can't dress for shit
• Guys think she's hot
• Your guy friends go, "I don't know why you don't like her, she's a nice girl"
• Guys bet on who will be the first to "score" with her, as she seems like an untouchable
• When you bitch about her, her fan club accuses you of being jealous of her
  
• ........... (will add more when I think of some other things)
  

Okay I know it sounds like I have a lot of rage in me, but seriousllyyyyyyyy I cannot stand these (*&*&^&%&^%

I've heard stories about this girl that I know, and OMG I hear about her, and I seriously feel like slapping the bitch in the face. I seriously don't know how my friend can stand seeing her almost everyday, and for a year already, and for the next few years to come.... I pity you babe. =(

Anyway, I still have not caught up on my lost sleep last night. I slept at around 3 and got out of bed at 9.30ish. Damn. I know it's six hours, and it should be enough, but it's NOT. I woke up at around 5am to use the toilet, and I didn't fall asleep immediately. Anyway, I'm just blogging to help me fall asleep. Ciao.

ps: I've been working on my IBE essay for so long that when I finished this post by reflex I looked for the option to check on its word count... -_-"

Rantings

I'm such a lazy bitch. I so hate that I always leave things hanging till the last minute.

I mean, really, why do we do that anyway? No matter how many times we do it, we just never learn. I have no idea how many times I always manage to barely meet deadlines and always think after I've gotten it over with, "Ok next time I'll do it wayyy ahead of time. Never again!"

Stupid naive lying woman.

Gah. I am just so so so so lazy. Do you think there'll come a day where we're gonna cure laziness??

This just randomly popped into my head: If Isaac Newton wasn't snoozing under that apple tree, would we have found out about gravity?

My English is suckifying by the day!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! What's happening to me??? =( I don't wanna be a rotten banana.... Nooo....

Ok I'm going to start blogging in perfect formal English from now on. Starting... NOW!

Hello there my friends. How are you today? Very well, I hope.

Hah, that sounds like one of those letters you write for a Primary Six English assignment. Maybe not perfect formal then.

I'm thinking about what to blog right now... I'm actually quite tired right now, but I'm feeling so awake. Because I was stupid enough to have an Icy Nutty Latte from Coffeezone just now. There was caramel in it, so I was feeling quite hyped up just now. I can feel the caffeine and sugar wearing off though, which is good. I'll be able to sleep soon!! Yay!

The lousy connection's driving me mad, but then again what else can I expect right? I'm in hostel right now, and I'm probably gonna be here till next week until most of my papers are over and done with.

I watched Spiderman 3 just now. Sadly, I wasn't blown away. I thought that the storyline was predictable, and messy. I mean, at one point there were actually about 3 villains? There's just too much going on there. The ending was a total anti-climax. I was all, "That's it?!" in a loud voice. Dammit, it was quite a disappointment. Well, not as big a disappointment as Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, but don't even get me started on that one. Suffice to say, watching the trailer for POTC: At World's End didn't even get me excited. I'm not even sure I want to watch it that much.

And I still think Ghost Rider sucks. I still think it's totally lame lame lame. And corny. And totally miscast. Plus, I didn't think a shirtless Nicolas Cage was necessary. It was gross. He looked Photoshopped.

"My name is Leeeeeegioooooonnnnnnnn... because we are maaaaaaaaaaannnyyyyyyyyyyyyy..." takes the cake for one of the stupidest quote I've heard in a movie EVER.

Wow I'm really getting worked up over this aren't I? Cool. Let me think about other movies I've watched in the last 6 months. Music & Lyrics is a typical romantic comedy. Nothing special there, a few funny bits here and there like, "Let me show you the roof... It's upstairs!" and I love the soundtrack.

Meet The Robinsons: It's an animated cartoon for the family. I must say, I found the story quite weird, not quite the typical feel good animated movie, but nothing spectacular either. That Tom Selleck bit cracked me up. And like all Disney films, there's always a lesson to be learned. In this case, the lesson is, "Always Look Forward". Or was it just, "Look Forward"? Anyway, something along those lines.

I watched Turistas too. Well sort of. Sort of because I watched a low quality DVD of it, and also because I was either covering my eyes or not in the room for 55% of the movie. I was coming back from the loo when it came to that stapling scene and Ryan and Tzen's yelling and whimpering scared me into staying in the room. I mean, Ryan yelled with every staple of the wound. And by yelling I mean shrieking that weird shriek of his. Anyway, it's a typical gore/thriller fest. As in, all violence and brutality but with a storyline full of stupid people. Stupid people who get killed. Except for the siblings. Anyone noticed that the siblings never get killed?

Anyway I can't think of any more... Oh wait. EPIC MOVIE. Epic my ass. Waste of money that was. Who the hell wrote the damn thing? To the writers: Hey guys, I think that for you to write a parody, you're supposed to have a goddamned SENSE OF HUMOUR. But kudos for the Brangelina one. That one was good.

And for the love of God how could I have forgotten 300?! ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER! Who the fck cares that it wasn't how the story actually went? (Apparently all 300 died there,that one soldier didn't go back to tell the story.) But omg the battle scenes?! AWESOME. I love Spartans. Heh, the only thing I found weird was how they kept going on about the 300 soldiers when there were obviously less than 300 already. Like, hello, one went back? And how many died already? It was probably 200++. Ok, totally unimportant and irrelevant but it bothered me a bit.=P Other than that.... OMG I LOVE 300!! YAH!

Ok I think my rantings have gone long enough. I didn't know I was very critical of movies. Goodnight people.

ps: fcking connection. I had trouble publishing this post. =( and I should really clean up my labels. Too many of 'em.

Ta-dah!

Yay! This skin is cute, isn't it? In a dark, cartoony way... I like it. ^^

Yay yay yay!! Another productive day!! *nods nods*

ENTOURAGE SEASON 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have Vincent Chase and Eric and Turtle and Drama (and even Ari) back! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Oh I seriously love this series. Yay yay yay yay yay!!!!

I'm feeling so <3

BYE!