Unexplainable Cramps

*%&^$^&^^%

OWWWWWW my right arm hurts like hell, and I have no clue as to why that is.

It hurtssssss!

Like I've been carrying something heavy the day before.

Which, I don't think I have.

Anyway, it hurts.

---

Four more days of work!!

And good news! I am NOT staying in hostel.

Yes yes!

Oh don't look at me like that Sheena. I did not betray you. =s

---

Work was kind of hectic today.

I had to go to the bank three times in a row today. It was so stupid, it was funny.

All I had to do was hand in a form right.

First time I went, they wouldn't accept it because it looked like the numbers were amended.

Go back to do it over again, get the bosses to sign, blah blah.

Second time, turns out the supplier had given the wrong account number.

Go back to do it over again, get the bosses to sign, blah blah.

FINALLY, we got it done. Took an hour to carry out a task that would take 10minutes at most.

Then my colleague who was driving said she wanted to pick up her car from the workshop near our workplace.

So we went there and I started to get into the driver's seat. Meanwhile my colleague went into the workshop. At the entrance she bumped into this guy who pointed out some rubbish on the floor. She then bent over to pick it up. To my disgust, the fucking loser cupped his crotch when she was bent over so it looked like they were doing something obscene. It was so disgusting. He had the most disgusting grin on his face. I think he caught my look of disgust and disdain but all he did was grin and wave, to which I glared stonily in response and drove away.

I seriously never hated men until that moment. I know I sound like some kind of sexist but seriously. Why are they so disgusting? No woman would every find that funny, but some idiotic men would. I BLOODY HATE MEN LAR!

It makes me so mad whenever I think of it. I didn't tell my colleague though. I think she would get uberly pissed off. I think the guy worked at Nautika too. Hey loser, who you think you are ha? Assholeeeeeee. I wish I can run him over with the car. But Keith might PAKAT me. LOL

Erm, the company actually put my name on the sliding nameplate board thing that tells whether an employee is in or out at the moment.

I found it funny, because they got it in just today, and I'm leaving in four days. And they used my full name, as in Annabella. Think of how much per letter it would have cost, and I'm leaving in four days. Talk about a waste of money. But it's nice lah. =)

Ummmmmmmmmm what else has happened since I've last blogged??

I don't know. Quite a lot lah. Oh my sisters are moving from Kiarong to Kiulap, and I'm gonna be living with them plus a cousin. Which is why I ain't living at hostel no mooooreeeee. Why didn't I do that from the beginning? Because now my parents actually trust me enough to drive around in Bandar. I'm gonna be using the Prado though. Blah. But I guess I've had enough practice driving to work now. I think I still suck at parking though. I don't know. It comes and goes. =P

This time next week, I would have started uni again. YAY! Most of the juniors are gone from Nautika. The last to go would be Sheau Chien, who's leaving tomorrow. I think she's my favourite colleague to work with. I don't know. I find her cute.

She was asking me about UBD and all that, and at one time I asked her whether she was gonna stay at hostel or not.

Chien: *face screwed up* I don't wanna stay in hostel ahhh!!!
Bella: Ah? Why?
Chien: Eee.. scary ohhhh
Bella: Ohhh... (guess I got so used to hostel I forgot bout the "ghosts" that roam its halls.)
Chien: You stay at hostel is it?
Bella: (before I knew I wasn't gonna stay hostel) Yeah.
Chien: So ok ar?
Bella: Yeah it's ok bahh...
Bella: *pauses*
Bella: Well just shower early and don't go to the toilet so late at night lah.
Chien: *eyes big big liao* HA?!?!?! REALLY?!

I only meant that, if she was too scared she should just avoid scary situations, cause the hostel is kinda creepy when it's late at night and all quiet and dark and such. I didn't realise how it sounded. But seriously the look on her face was priceless. I couldn't help but laugh at her.

I am so broke. My allowance isn't out yet, and I haven't gotten paid. It's so frustrating that I've been working my ass off (exaggerating) but I still am uber broke. I am BAH-ROCKKKKK!!!!!!

HP7 = Not as good as I'd expected. =((((((
Transformers, Simpsons, Pirates of Caribbean = So-called must-watch movies that I have not watched.

Oh I miss blogging.

I feel sleepy now though. But I just wanna make sure that I've blogged about all bloggable events that has happened since I've last blogged.

Hahahaha that sentence sounds so funny I am laughing to myself.

Man, I am wiped out.

Sharon is quitting tomorrow! I'm so jealous!! She's gonna be free and more importantly she's getting PAID! I'm only getting paid this Friday because alang2 also if they pay me tomorrow and then pay me again on Friday.

Bah this post is starting to go to shit so I shall end it here.

bye bye bye

ps: One & Only - Timbaland ft. Fallout Boy is berry good.
Also, I like Nothing Left To Lose - Mat Kearney
Everything's Just Wonderful - Lily Allen
Knock 'Em Out - Lily Allen [cracks me up]

Ok ok bye bye bye for real.

Urghhhh..

*trudges into blog*

Urghhh...

*blinks*

I must blog.... Urghhhh...

*shakily positions fingers above keyboard*

I..

I...

I'm too brain-dead!! (I actually spelt dead as ded. I am so tired)

Right now I'm caught in a dilemma. Sleep? Ugly Betty? Or ANTM Cycle 8?

Like Sophie's Choice..

Bye people.

ps: Uni in less than two weeks!! YAY! (I sound like such a geek)

Maelstrom

Hey people. My mind's in a pretty weird place right now. I think my moods and behaviour have been quite erratic. It's pretty annoying. I come off as weirder than usual. (Scary thought ain't it. Just when you thought I can't get any weirder)

I miss feeling like myself. There are moments of clarity when I do feel fine again. But then those moments all fade away in comparison to the long long hours of numbness that set in.

Too dramatic? Too emo? Helloooo this is ME over here *points at me, myself, the emo/drama queen*

I actually typed out a post last night but blogger wouldn't let me publish it. Which is a relief, because I typed it out when I was feeling really low, so when I reread it just now I was disgusted by how pitiful it sounded. PATHETIC is the word. OMG I just can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long. I actually made a list of things that reminded me of him. A pretty long list.

One of the things that is now ruined forever for me is minesweeper. One of my favourite games ever, ruined by an asshole. Oh for shame.

The area under my right eye keeps twitching!! (Yes Mandy it's still twitching since Sunday)

I was told by two people that it signifies impending bad luck.

Fck!! Meaning so far it's been good luck lar! OMG. Maybe I should just drive into a ditch and get it over with.

Work has been a great great great distraction for me. Haha. But I'm kinda drowning in a pile of paperwork. Just when I think I can finish my work, either a) I have to go rush to the bank, or b) someone puts a new stack of paperwork for me to sort out. Ah the working life.

Really lor, they just keep coming! Soon you'll just see this mountain of papers with my lifeless hand protruding from the pile.

It's kinda sad that I'll be leaving in about two more weeks, 'cause I've finally begun to settle in the place. Haha. Gawd, UBD seems like a distant memory.

Soon it'll be back to skipping attending lectures again.

But I can't wait to see everyone again! Miss everyone! Miss lepak-ing in Bandar! =)

I still suck at driving. =)

I hope I'll meet new people this upcoming semester. I like making new friends.

OH it is Ryan's birthday tomorrow!! Birthday boy!!!!!! I probably will be too comatose to do anything social tomorrow though... =( Never mind, I blog about you lah k. You, my fellow attention whore, would probably like that.

What can I say about Ryan Leong? Ummmmmm.....

He still has not gotten over his obsession with the payung song. Sometimes he finds the weirdest things funny. I can't remember what right now, but I know that he's made some unfunny jokes that he can laugh for minutes at but we'll just be like 0_0

He can be nice. Sometimes.

Sushi buddy!! Clubbing buddy!! Drinking buddy!!!

He is obsessed with American Idol. =/ Really weird lah, but I think he's an American at heart. (Or so he desperately wants to be)

Do not question his knowledge of movies/tv shows/music or anything remotely pop culture. Seriously, Ryan's word is LAW in those areas. (Yes I keep telling him, he needs a life, but denial is a river in Egypt. Get it? Denial = The Nile *zing*)

He is a great bitching partner. But then sometimes all his comments sound the same after a while. Usually: "he/she/they should just all die!" Venomous.

What else... what else... Argh I can't seem to think of anything else I should blog about.

Blah you just have to be satisfied with that lar bitch. =) OH OH Ryan is my bitch!!! =)

HAHAHAHAHAHA Actually not so much anymore lah. I've been nice, haven't I?

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y R Y A N!

Anyhooooo I am sleepy... bye byeeeee

Note: this post is subject to edits if Ryan is displeased with its contents. But I don't think he comes around here often, so hey maybe I can diss him and he won't ever find out. Ryan! BITCH! >=)

Just Because Part II

Hello people. I wanted to blog about something but I can't remember what.

...........

Crap. I got nothing.

For lack of anything to blog about, I'll just give you guys these


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net



Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Bah I go watch Lost now.

I'LL BE BACKKKKK

Broken

I don't know how much longer I can stand this.

We broke up. It's been almost a week.

And I've been ok... at times... It kind of fluctuates. Work has a major part in distracting me, which is great. But it's those times when I lie in bed trying to fall asleep or just daydreaming that I start thinking.

I dreamt about him last night. It was such a vivid dream. And it made me realise that no matter how much I try to fool myself, I am nowhere near getting over him, and that I miss him, and want him.

In that dream we were together in his car and for some reason I was sitting in the back. He stopped the car and turned back to look at me. I propped my head on his shoulder. Then he gave me a little kiss. And I asked him what he was doing. He smiled and said, "What, you don't really think that it's over do you?" And I was all like, "It isn't?"

I think that was my subconscious. DAMN YOU SUBCONSCIOUS! The dream didn't stop there, no. It was a long painful dream where everything was all normal and we were laughing and talking again.

When I woke up, I started to cry a little, because I didn't want the dream to end, because I missed him, because the last few days of denial finally caught up with me.

Most people still don't know about it, because I didn't feel the urge to tell. I think I was still reluctant to let go. I could feel that by telling, it was making it more real and more true. God.... I don't know what I need for me to feel better.... Everywhere I go, it seems like I'm reminded of him.

And we're not on speaking terms even. Which is my choice, because I didn't think I could pretend to be friends with him. Also, because he's a stupid stupid immature idiot. Everyone keeps telling me it's his loss. I know it is, because come on it's me *sizzle* LOL jk jk. Seriously, there are very very very few people who can stand him, see how many more girls he can find that has a high tolerance level.

Oh fck I gotta get ready for work!!! SHIT I'm gonna be late!1

Unpredictable

I had to call Universal Book store for some work stuff today.

*line picks up*

Girl: Hello?
Bella: Hello Universal Book store?
Girl: Ha? Ah, wait ar wait ar (in Chinese)

Guy: Hello?
Bella: Yeah can I.... (all work stuff boring shite)
Guy: Oh... ah... can I call back later? Because the boss isn't in right now.
Bella: Ah ok, you call back and ask for Annabella k?
Guy: (pause) Ok. Annabella Chong ah?
Bella: Yeah.

*pause*

Bella: Wait, what?
Guy: Annabella Chong ah?
Bella: ..... Uh... Yeah... Who is this?
Guy: Oh *mumble*mumble* Seng Kheng
Bella: Ha? Seng Kheng?
Guy: Yeah.
Bella: (Not sure whether I heard right) Seng Kheng who?
Guy: Oh ok wrong person never mind.
Bella: No no I know Seng Kheng, who is this?
Guy: It's me bah!
Bella: OH! Oh, you're Seng Kheng!
SK: Yeah!
Bella: What you doing there?
SK: This is my shop what.
Bella: OH....
Bella: Eh hurry up ah! Urgent ok!
SK: Ok ok I ask my mom now.

I thought I got stalker for a minute there. What a disappointment relief.

On the other hand....

SENG KHENG AHHHH! YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG EXCHANGE RATE!!!! Nasib everything not totally screwed up ah. >=(

*sigh*

I am so glad to be home. Really nothing to do this afternoon leh. Bored as hell. I online online only. I'm not even sure whether it's ok for me to go surfing while at work, but at least it'll look better than just staring into space.

Went for lunch at Jee Juan with Mandy just now. Saw a few people I knew. And him! Yay! Lama no nampak liao!! My would-be crush! LOL. Unfortunately, he didn't remember recognize see me.

Wow... I feel so sleepy now.....

Depressing songs of the moment: Save Me From Myself by Christina Aguilera & When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne

Happy song of the moment: Grace Kelly by Mika

The Way I Are

I got quite a lot of updates. But I really don't feel like blogging about it yet. It being the biggest hugest GINORMOUS development of all!!!!!!

(No I am not preggo)

HAHAHAHAHA

I like the word ginormous. It really sends the message rather than just saying, big.

A: Wah so big lah the cake!
B: Really?? Big ar?
A: Yeah! Big you know!
B: How big?
A: *gestures wildly* Big lah. BIG.
B: How big is your big oh? My big quite big you know.
A :It's big!!
B:Yeah, but how big?
A: Eee! Big bah!

(Yeah this is a totally unrealistic conversation. And I don't know why they sound so auntie)

I would rather say: Her birthday cake was GINORMOUS.
Random person: No shit? Must've cost a bomb.
Me: Yeah.
Random person:Cool.
Me: Yup... Well see ya.
Random person: Bye.

*walks away*

Ginormous: Gigantic + enormous

I know you all are thinking, so you mean BIG lar!

YEAH BAH I GOT NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT LIAO.

My life is only work work work. Work is ok now lah. Getting the hang of it. But I don't wanna talk about it now lah. Feel so sick of thinking about work.

Oh oh Mandy and I had lunch at MN yesterday. Wah there was this psycho-woman who had a bitch fit there. Or it could be a bitchy woman having a psycho fit... Hmm. Anyhoo.

Mandy: I want to tapau for my boss
Bella: Oh ok. *looks around for waiter*
Mandy: Excuse me~ *waves at guy at counter*
Bella: He didn't see you lah *starts to stand up to call waiter over*

Suddenly.

*B A N G*

Psycho-bitch at other side of room: *incoherent snarl*
Bella(halfway out of chair): Whoa. What was that?
Bella: *stands up straight and cranes neck to get better view*

Psycho-bitch: *more incoherent snarls* Why you do this to me ah?? You don't do this to me ah!! *stalks embarrassed friend/enemy/innocent victim girl around the table*
Bella & Mandy: *exchanges wide eyed looks*
Embarrassed friend: *staying out of slapping/strangling distance*
Psycho-bitch: Who do you think you are?
Guy friend caught in the middle: *puts himself in between the two women*
Embarrassed victim: *takes opportunity to walk away quickly*
Psycho-bitch: Eh you come back here!
Embarrassed guy friend:*mutters to psycho-bitch while pulling her back*
Psycho-bitch: Why are you protecting her!?

Embarrassed victim now almost to the door.

Psycho-bitch: You come back here you bitch!

All of them kind of exited the restaurant in a weird tug-of-war fashion.

Bella & Mandy: *looks in amazement at each other*
Mandy: Wahlau...
Bella: Yeah... I wonder what she was mad about ah..
Mandy: Yeah lo.. Really no malu..
Bella: Yeah.. Oh look they're still outside! She's still trying to kill the girl.
Mandy: Aiya sit down lar you!
Bella: Oh yeah. (I totally forgot I was standing up)
Mandy: Steady lar you stand up again.
Bella: I wanted to see what was going on bah! And I wanted to call the waiter!

I totally forgot about that incident after that.

I'm still curious why the woman was throwing that bitch fit. So dramatic. Very rare do you see that kind of action in MN lah. Lucky us!!! :D

Hehehh..... Ok dunno what to blog about now.

Ciao people!

ps: The Way I Are - Timbaland ft Keri Hilson & D.O.E -- awesomenesssssss. The Way I Are. I Are Baboon. LOL

Reality Bites, Chews And Spits You Out

Is it that I'm so tired that my brain can't digest anything? I can't help but feel awake for the first time in days. And I feel clearheaded.

The past week I feel like I've just been biding my time. Just blindly following orders. Why? I still don't really know how to do anything after one whole week already.

What is true strength?

How can one truly be strong?

I've never actually prided myself as a strong person. But I've never thought of myself as weak.

But these days I've been plagued by doubts about myself, about my capabilities, my aptitude for learning...

How strong can I be that I can be so easily upset and that new, sometimes upsetting, experiences can make me doubt myself?

I know I've never been a genius or anything... but I never thought that I was stupid.

Am I?

I hate feeling useless. I've never experienced such misery as I've been through recently... It was a feeling of despair. Hopelessness. Inadequacy.

Dread. Panic.

I experience it every morning when I wake up.

I miss my boyfriend. I have not seen him in over a week. Mostly because I'm usually too tired to go out at night.

Sad thing is, he doesn't seem to care anymore. It does not help me feel better.

He doesn't care anymore. That likely revelation brings me down all the time. I know I'm probably over-thinking again.

I've never missed him so much. Am I missing him more because I need him to distract me from my depression? Or do I truly miss him as a person, a companion? Or are they one and the same?

I get hit by a strong sense of longing whenever something, no matter how random, reminds me of him.

I just realised one thing that came out of work: I'm able to type faster now with less typos.

Everyone tells me it's normal to be clueless the first time you start work. But is it the case this time? Or is it me that really can't grasp the inner workings of a business?

It kind of opened my eyes. What do I really want to be in the future?

I don't feel like I belong there. You know me. I'm happy just bumming around. I guess I'm just a lazy laid-back person.

I don't know... I don't know I don't know I don't know where I'm going... I can't wait to go back to UBD. Where I can feel semi-normal again. But even that is over-shadowed by the fact that he will be gone by then.

I'm watching Kyle XY. Ok ok technically Sharon passed it to me so that I can lend it to Tzen, but I haven't seen her and I've got nothing to watch. Asides from Lost, but it's incomplete and I like to watch in marathons! I don't care what you say Ryan, it's seriously more fun that way. *blows raspberry*

But I just wanted to watch because I was curious about it. The only thing I knew of the show was that Kyle had no bellybutton. And that he was some kind of genius or something.

Well so far so good. I'm convinced that Kyle's an alien/alien experiment/clone as a result of government testing.

Aw. Poor Kyle. He has no family, no memory, and no bellybutton.

Tsk tsk.

Anyway, I wanna go to sleep soon because I don't wanna be tired and brain dead for work tomorrow. Fck! I feel awake!!! It's like a lose-lose situation!!!

DAMMIT I HATE MY HEAD! Only useless things stick in there. Gawd.

I'd like to note that I dislike condescending people. Yup. Also I hate rude bitches. Random bitching. Heh.

Shit there's something wrong with my Live Messenger. CB. Why is my contact list not available. Sial... Cannot sign in.

I need a dose of reality.

i am too lazy to think of a proper title

Helloo...

It seems like forever since I've last blogged.

How am I coping with work so far? Ok I guess? I am a noob when it comes to work, so I guess it's no surprise that I'm a bit blur blur in the workplace.

Work and study like night and day. I like night better than day. Just like I think I prefer studying to work.

But I'm gonna have to work sooner or later, so might as well right? I just have this niggling fear that I'm one of those people who are basically incompetent at work. Does everyone get that when they first start working?

A message to certain individuals who I am very very very annoyed at:

-Get off my back, we can't all be geniuses.
-I am allowed to have a life aren't I?
-I am PMSing. Therefore cranky and moody and depressed.
-Emotional blackmail is a very bad thing.
-Ok now I'm just going off topic again.

Anyway I'm not in the best of moods. A long week stretches before me, and I am already looking forward to the weekend. (Miri?)

Anyhoo I'll just talk about my first day at work. Second day and third day not very eventful.

I'll just sum it up this way:

Arrived at work. Full of anticipation. It went away when I was shown what I was supposed to be doing.

First 10min:.....
First 15min: WTF
After 30min: Seriously, wtf?
First hour: I was giving the door longing glances, I WANNA GO BACK HOME AND SLEEP IN MY COMFY BED
Second hour: Seriously, can I go home?
Third hour: I need a drink
Fourth hour: I really really really need a super strong drink.
Thirty minutes to 12: Is it lunch yet?
11.55: Oh God can I go now?
12.00: *vanishes in a cloud of dust*

Sigh. It has gotten better though.. But I still am clueless. I'm having panic attacks everyday before I go to work.

Anyway... I'm feeling lethargic... lazy... fed up... Nites all.

ps: I miss bumming around and sleeping in. And I miss him.

pps: OMG I am so pissed off at Blogger. STUPID!!!!!! Want to blog also payah!