Procrastination Is An Art

Everytime I sit down at my laptop to do my essay, I end up doing something else.

Thursday:

I sat down to do my essay. I watched Heroes Ep 19 instead. =D

Friday:

I sat down to do my essay. Typed up the intro. Took a break and ended up blog-hopping. And changed my skin.

Saturday:

I was busy the whole day. No time to do essay.

Sunday:

Original plan was to wake up early to start on essay. Got up around 10ish, schlepped around house then went out around noon to pick up my sister. Came back and opened MS Word to my pathetic 108words intro. Added 59words and then went to kitchen to get munchies. Got distracted by CSI:NY on tv. Left for Bandar to catch Nemo. Came home around 10ish and opened MS Word again. Stared at screen. Went online. Blogged. Closed MS Word and went to sleep.

Monday:

Got up around 9ish. Showered. Had brunch. Watched Prison Break. Sat down at laptop. And now writing out this post about procrastinating WHILST I am procrastinating.

BAH I have no self-discipline.

Sigh, I gotta get a job for these 3 months of holidays I'm gonna have after exams... The idea of working kinda scares me. I've never had a job before. But I know I should get a job for this holiday. Dammit.

*&*^&^%%^#$%#%$##

Blah I want a vacation.

I want clubbing.

I feel depressed...

Why is life not easy?

And why do people want to buang stress on me when I have exams coming? I DON'T NEED ANYMORE. I want to be in denial, drowning in my own self-made hell, without you to fan the flames so I burn faster.

LAME LAME LAME

Disjointed my statements are.

Random I am.

Speaking like Yoda I am.

Ending this post I am.

LAME LAME LAME.

(Yes insane I have gone) =(

Fishes with too many appendages

Went with the family to Nemo on Ice today. Yeahhhh.... Really I think they should just stick with the normal Disney fairy tales... Fish with heads, and arms, and legs.. it's just a mess. At one point though, I found myself thinking, "What's that on that shark's back...?" before I realised it was the ice-skater's head. =P

Heh, I went back with Sheena yesterday. She was driving me to hostel because I had to pick up some stuff. Well, there was this bird that was just there in the middle of the road. Sheena must've noticed too, because she slowed down. We were talking about something at that time, and as we neared the bird, it still hasn't flown away. So Sheena broke off in mid-sentence to scream, "FLY BIRDIE FLY!!!!!"

It scared the crap out of me.

Hahahahahahahahah, but still it was funny. You should've heard her screaming like hell for the birdie to, for the love of God, fly. I was like, "You could've just braked, you know."

I love blogging. I just wish I had more to blog about. (Sad life, no insightful opinions, sad sad sad)

*aaaaaaaawwwwwwwghhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Hmph. I really don't know what to blog about. I am drawing a blank.

______ <-- I just drew a blank!!! ROFL I am so lame.

I think what people see me as is this silly lame bimbotic girl who usually spouts nonsensical garbage. I think I am entertaining in this way. I like me!! But I know some people find me annoying. BLAH you people have no sense of humour. I like to make people laugh! It gives me that fuzzy ole warm feeling inside. If not for my sense of humour, Bella shall be a very boring girl indeed. Seriously guys, the thought of losing my sense of humour scares me. So does that mean I am mostly defined by my sense of humour? Is that what stands out about me? Hmmm... Is that a good or bad thing, I do not know...

I am still having a bad case of procrastination... DARNNNNN!!!!!!!

Anyway gonna go sleep now. (My bedtime's been around this time lately, and I've been waking up around 6am... DAMN UBD FOR SCREWING UP MY SLEEPING PATTERN!!!)

Torn

Fcking sad eh.. So many people hates dislikes cannot really stand my boyfriend... What does that mean?

*update* Yay I changed my skin again! I know it's all bright and happy! I thought it would cheer me up everytime I visit my blog or something. (And also, I know Elvis would feel like poking his eyes out what with the colours and cheeriness, yay yay yay!!!)

It looks like a fairy threw up all over my blog, didn't it? Hee. Awesome.

Whoo! Yes I did something productive today!! (Aside from writing 108 words for IBE essay that is) Do not fear, Sheena! I will not procrastinate all the way till Tuesday! I shall finish them by this weekend! *crosses fingers*

Umm... ummm...... okay I'm out. Oh wait. EHHHH Spideyyy!!!!! I wanna watch Spiderman 3!! Who wanna watch with me?? Must book ticket now now now!!! Text me! =)

Crankinesssss

Argh I am so pissy right now. Why? These three words: Islamic Business Ethics.

What about it? It sucks. I'm having difficulty trying to do the essays. And no, it's not due tomorrow. (Surprising eh? I actually am doing something NOT at the last minute for once.)

But still, it sucks. Sigh.

Funny moment that happened yesterday:

I found out a few interesting medical facts from my sister Vicki, who has recently attended First Aid courses. One of them was that apparently asthma and eczema was apparently connected. Apparently, if you have one, you can't have the other. Not so sure why though. Anyway I was telling Tzen, Sheena and Grace about this. The convo sort of went like this:

Bella: Hey you know what? You know asthma and eczema right?

Sheena: Yeah...

Bella: Anyway, apparently they're related..

Tzen: Who's Asthma and Eczema?

*silence*

Tzen: No!! wait! OMG ignore that!!

I swear, we had to stop walking because we were laughing too hard. Damn that was so funny. Hahahahahahahaha

Anyway yesterday was ok. Logic test sucked. =(

I was apparently being a mega-bitch yesterday to Mike. Haha, poor guy. But wait, I think he deserved it. ^^

Sigh, ok gonna go continue doing my essay now (i.e. staring blankly at laptop screen)

Them Crazy Apes!

OMG I never thought that sleeping could be such a trial in hostel. It's like we're never safe. So ok, I decided to forgo studying and went to sleep instead. Fell asleep almost immediately, around eleven.

At midnight my phone rang, waking me up from a dreamless sleep. I looked at the ID. Malaysian number, meaning it was Wilson. But then he hung up before I actually woke up enough to pick up.

I was waking up by the minute then, because it was quite warm and stuffy. And I was feeling itchy all over. Dunno why. But I get like that sometimes when it's hot. Anyway I tossed and turned for a while before deciding to go to the toilet to freshen up.

Aaahh nice cool water splash onto heated skin. (Ok that kinda sounds weird but my skin all warm and itchy wah)

So I went back to my room and opened the door for a while, just to let some fresh air in. After some time, I closed the door. To my annoyance, it started to get stuffy again.

"CB!! Why like that one!! One small room with a fan can also get that stuffy?!"

At this thought I got up to check at what speed the fan was on. PALOOIII it was on speed 3, and all this time I thought it was on speed 4. (I never turn it all the way full because I have this phobia of the fan spinning off it's base and landing on me, thus severing limbs and causing lots of pain. Yes, I have issues)

So I turned it onto speed 4.

Oooh. Windy.

So I felt this delicious comfort, one where you feel when you know you can fall asleep. I turned onto my side, hug my Taz pillow, and close my eyes....

Then...

*G&^%$&%^#%^D#&^%^&*%&*^$^%&

This horrible screeching cuts through the silence. I sit up in bed immediately, scared. It sounded like a monkey was outside my door having a fit!! Then just as suddenly as it began, it stopped.

I was afraid of opening the door... I would've preferred not to... But I left my pretty Vincci shoes outside my door!!!! What if it had stolen it?!?! These bloody monkeys steal everything lahh! They stole my friend's Panadol Actifast last time eh...

So I open the door cautiously... and I was so happy to spot my pretty yellow shoes with its brown bows still there where I left them. =D

When I stepped outside I saw another girl just standing at the other end of the corridor, staring at me.

Me: What was that??
Girl: Huh?
Me: Did you hear that??
Girl: Huh?
Me: (Was this girl just standing out there all this time doing nothing?) Was that a monkey?
Girl: I don't know, I just came out.
Me: Oh. Stupid monkey. *goes back into room*

I shut my window just in case. And I texted Wilson raging about the damn incident. He called me a few minutes later =D

Anyway now I'm feeling soooooo awake. What do I do now...?

Moodiness

I've been having bad mood swings for almost a week now... Swinging between numbness and major depression. The climax of which happened yesterday in Lecture Theatre, where I just started crying. I really don't know why... I just feel so miserable... I know what part of the cause is... and I guess mixed with the idea of exams.. and IBE essays which I still haven't started on... and possibly PMS... I just feel extreme misery... Right now I'm still in denial... and I've just noticed my usage of ellipses... Whoops.

I think I'm full of contradictions.

I'm nice, but I'm also not nice.
I'm smart, but I'm lazy.

I hate that I can't control my emotions. I seem to be feeling one thing at a moment, and can feel differently the next moment... I hate it. I hate my moodiness. I hate my depression.

Damn damn damn. Exams so close... Why am I still procrastinating?? Argh, I need help.

Simplicity is so rare in most situations. And even when things are simple, I just seem to complicate things by just being me. Me the emotional, dramatic one. I seem to have a flair for drama. (I should be an actress... =P)

I read something in bash about procrastination. Let me try to find it again...

mayb: procrastination is like masturbation
mayb: it's fun until you realize you just f*cked yourself

Wilson just left for KK today (Yes, again.)

And he told me that he might be going China in May. And KL in June. And he's leaving for Perth in July.

Yes I am NOT happy about this. I feel like I'm having a relationship with my handphone, which is how I usually can talk to him. It sucks.

Not to mention he's totally oblivious to when I'm upset and when I'm not. Or maybe he does realise it... Ack whatever. Point is, I'm upset about it. Yes yes. Some of you may think that I'm an attention whore blogging about my love life so blatantly. Fck off, it's my blog I'll do what I want. Close the window if it bothers you. See if I care. I am an attention whore, so what? I find putting my thoughts into words soothing... See, I feel better already. The knot in my stomach has loosened somewhat.

There are times when I look back at my life so far, and I just feel sad over what I've lost. I've lost friendships, I've lost opportunities, and most important of all I've lost my naivete. I think I miss that most of all. Children can be so lucky. They are totally oblivious to stress, to the troubles going on outside of their lives. An easy, worry-free life. I miss that.

Argh exams... IBE... T.T

I shall be very happy when it comes to my 3-month holidays!!! You'll see me going like this =D

Oh this reminds me of a bash quote.

smcn: one of these days
smcn: i'm going to hunt down and kill whoever invented emoticons
smcn: then i'm going to look at him and go >=D

Sigh. I'll probably be bashing after this... Did I mention I had a test tomorrow??

Unreasonable

I've always hated those who don't take responsibility over their own actions. They just keep on blaming other people.

Let's say that a certain hostel in a certain institution is rumoured to be on the verge imposing a 6pm curfew on its hostelites. 6-freaking-pm. And these hostelites are, what, 20 years old at youngest? It's so stupid! I mean, what right do they have to do that to us the poor hostelites?? Are we they not allowed to have a life?

What brought this stupidity on? Apparently a certain idiot girl who's staying at the hostel got pregnant. So the parents of this girl is complaining to the Student Affairs. WTF!? Don't blame other people for your mistakes ok. Whoever these parents are, they are freaking irresponsible. Blame other people for what?! Your own daughter bah! Take responsibility!! Whatever choices the girl made, she made it on her own terms. And the hostel has nothing to do with it. I seriously doubt she had sex in the hostel. Whatever happened, the hostel has nothing to do with it. Why are we getting punished for some random girl's actions? It's unfair that's what it is.


SIX O'CLOCK EHH!!!! It's like prison!! Plus, there's NOTHING to do in the hostel. No WiFi, no air-conditioning, and they want us to just stay in here!? Also, it seems as if they don't want us to go back home other than at weekends. Uhh... for a nation that seems to emphasise on the importance of family, why are we not allowed to go home if we have no classes? PALOI.

If this stupid decision goes through, I'm so moving out. I am not losing my freedom.

iLazy Therefore iProcrastinate

Ha! I am done with English! Poster looks like crap, but what the hell. It's done so I'm happy about that. But wait, is there something... else.. ?? OH YEAH. Microeconomics Test tomorrow!! Vunderrfooolllll!!

And I haven't printed out the glossary for English. Gah. Hehe, if I put "Apple" as one of the words, won't that be silly? (I'm really sleepy and tired now, I think it shows)

Oh yeah, Vis, I just finally realised why, all this time, I find the tagline for your blog so familiar. "I See Therefore I Write"

One of Apple's slogans for the iMac was, "iThink Therefore iMac"

Oh, my English presentation is on Apple Inc., so yeah, that's why I'm blurting out random facts about them.

I have not blogged for a week! Sorry!! Unless you don't care, then I'm not sorry.

Vicki and I were at Moi Nam last Tuesday night, and I saw something that I thought I should blog about. Because Vicki said I should. =)

Anyway, we were walking towards Moi Nam and we passed through that corridor in between the two stairs. I was just looking around absentmindedly when this notice pasted on the wall caught my eye.

"Please Do Not Litter Indiscriminately"

So I pointed it out to Vicki and told her authoritatively, "Eh, cannot litter indiscriminately ah... So you just pick a favourite place to litter, instead of littering all over the place!"

So yeah people!! If throw outside Wing Soon you just keep on throwing over there!! If outside Moi Nam, that spot only!! CANNOT LITTER INDISCRIMINATELY you know!! The A4 sized paper stuck on the wall said so!!

(Fallacy: Appeal to Unqualified Authority) Random thought from Logic & Thinking 1. I am gonna miss Dr. Ali next semester. =(

Miri tomorrow night! Whee!!!!!!! A night of destressing and getting high and happy before weeks of horrible, terrible and vegetable stress. (Dammit, Wilson's fault that I'm using that phrase now.)

Nights people, and wish me luck for tomorrow's test AND presentation!!

Zombified

Hey there people. I promised myself that I was gonna blog about something interesting today, but honestly, I'm just so dead tired right now. I haven't been getting enough sleep. Actually, enough sleep maybe, but it's just not... nice sleep. I keep waking up every hour or two. It's quite frustrating. I think the change in my sleep schedule is making me break out. =(

A big pile of workload and stress is looming ahead. Oh no!

(Yes I am blogging just for the sake of blogging)

I was blog-hopping the other day, and I was astounded at the amount of Bruneian bloggers in existence. I'll link to them when I'm free. There was actually some kind of blogging competition or something. "Simpur Blognation" or whatever it was called. Apparently the winner won an iPod shuffle.

*looks over to her iPod Nano a.k.a "Kratos"*

Nah, I think I'm good. =)

---

Out of touch with reality

I got hit on by the freaking security guards at UBD today. I blame my baju kurung. There just had to be a strong gust of wind while I was walking past their hangout pondok. I think they thought I flashed them a glimpse of my calves and knees on purpose or something. Wtf. Hello, I am way way out of your league. (I don't care if I sound obnoxious, I know I am.) Let's just be realistic over here. And come on, I don't get guys who think they can attract girls by leering at them and going "Psst psst!!!" or "Pheewiiiitt!" or just saying "Hiiiiiiiiiii..."

It's amazing how they can make a simple "Hi" sound so disgusting and wrong. I literally get goosebumps. Not the good kind. Do they think that those attempts will send girls into a flurry of excitement? And that we will suddenly feel hot and give in to the urge to shed layers of clothing? I mean, come on. I don't get these people.

Instead of unwanted displays of disgusting-ness and yuckiness and eww-ness and grossness, try chivalry.

It is so rare to meet a gentleman these days.

Let's say I am carrying a heavy stack of books. If I'm struggling with it, offer assistance. Don't wait for me to drop hints. And definitely don't peer at me and say, "Wah so much stuff, kesian also you!" without lifting a finger to help.

Yes girls, we've been talking about this recently. =)

I love it when guys hold doors open for me. I feel like a lady. ^^

Alright, I think I've done the best I could while being sleep-deprived.

I bid you adieu.

Cyanide & Happiness & Bella

Whoohooo!! Today Sheena gave me something special. Something that I never expected.

It is called Cyanide & Happiness. It is wonderful.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I love it so much! I can't stop! Aaaaaa~


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I'm looking for my favourite one I saw in Sheena's laptop just now!! The exam paper one!! Where is it?!?

I shall not end this post till I find it!!!!

La la laaa *searching*

I FOUND IT!! Yaayy!!

Heeheeee!!


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Yay! =))) The end!! K, gonna work on my English essay now. Yes yes I got distracted.

Die Heat Die... Please...

When will it snow in Brunei??? I don't mean I want the world to end or anything.. But can it just snow or at least be really really really cold for one week in Brunei? Why does it have to be so effing hot? WHY? WHY IS BRUNEI ON THE EQUATOR!? WHY?!?! *hystericalsobbing*

I can't sleep!!!! SO DAMNED HOT!!!! GAHHHHH!!!! Look at the time!! I have morning classes tomorrow!! Need my beauty sleep!!! I am SO SO SO SO SO thankful that Sheena informed me about the cancellation of the 8o'clock lecture because I had totally no idea it was cancelled and would've woken up at 7 and lost 2 freakin' hours of my precious sleep!!! Especially now that the damned heat and humidity is making it impossible for me to sleep!!! DIE HEAT! And yes, for those of you who didn't know, our hostel rooms are NOT air-conditioned. It's this little box-shaped cubicle of misery designed to bake hostelites alive. Gawd.

It better be damned windy tomorrow. CB Brunei weather.

And Wilson the mooing boy is a very sympathetic boyfriend.

Wil: It must be warm there yeah?

Me: Yeahh!! So damned hot here in my room. Door open, windows open, still damned hot.

Wil: Awww.... Poor Bella.

Wil: It's very cold here.

Me: ...... Yay for you.

Wil: Not kidding eh, my aircond's like at 17 degrees, I'm freezing my ass off here under my blanket.

Me: I'm so happy for you.

Wil: Heee (probably looking like an ass like this --> :D)

And yes Zuk, I know you admire my memory for conversations. =P

I HATE HEAT!!!


......

.....

....

...

..

.

Ok, I just have to point out something useless: 'Heat' reaarranged would become 'hate'.

Ganas XX Blog Generator

Eh funny lah!! I love Kenny Sia!!!! I was bored so I tried this.

Mine came out:

I was in my room this morning, doing some cleaning up, when a CHAO AH PEK come by and JUMP OUT FROM MY CUPBOARD!!!!!!!!!

I was so shocked I immediately took off my slipper and SMACKED HIM OVER THE HEAD. But you know what the fucker did? HE IGNORED ME AND CONTINUE TO JUMP OUT FROM MY CUPBOARD!!!! I was going to confront the CHAO AH PEK further, but I was scared he might punch my fragile new fake nose, deforming it permanently and leaving me ugly forever. :( So I walked away quietly.SO ANGRY! To that CHAO AH PEK, I HOPE YOUR TESTICLES DROP OFF!

I am so fucking irritated with that CHAO AH PEK! So what if he is a CHAO AH PEK? Doesn't mean he can just JUMP OUT FROM MY CUPBOARD like that. If every single CHAO AH PEK come and JUMP OUT FROM MY CUPBOARD, I still need to live meh?!!

So funny!! Exactly the same like how a typical Xiaxue post sounds like!! Haha!!

Choices

Have you ever wondered how all the choices you make will ultimately affect your life? Our minds are constantly plagued with the what-if scenarios. It could range from something trivial to a life-changing decision. Like deciding between eating a donut or a banana. Or deciding what course to take in uni. White rice or fried rice. That guy or that other guy. Blue shirt or red shirt. Quitting school to work or pursuing a degree. Skirt or jeans.

Choices. We take different paths that have lead us to where we are now. They say there's no point in regret. I kind of disagree. There is a point. You learn from mistakes. You look back and think, Dammit I should've studied harder!!!(or some other situation of that sort) You learn that some opportunities are once-in-a-lifetime. And you will approach other decisions with more caution and thought. Regret is so you can remember to make the right choice so you don't feel like shit again. Yup regret makes you feel like shit.

You guys wondering what happened to make me think about these things? The security guards at the main gates of UBD. Yup, you read that right. Here's my whole thought process.

We pass through those gates almost everyday. And there's something that everyone does, that's practically a ritual so sacred, that it feels unnatural not doing it. Yeah, that ritual. The lifting-of-your-hand-to-say-hi-or-whatever-to-the-guard-to-show-your-appreciation-for-keeping- the-gate-open-so-we-can-enter-the-paradise-that-is-UBD thing.

One day while passing through those gates I thought, Wow, that's really what they do most of the time... Can you imagine how many people go to UBD everyday?? And ok, maybe not all, but 90% of those people would wave to the guards. And they always wave back!! Seriously you guys have not thought of how their everyday lives must be??

After thinking about that, I turned to Tzen and said, "Whoa, can you imagine getting paid for just waving at everyone most of the time? So shiok lahh.. I kind of envy them.."

Tzen said, "I don't." And it hit me how boring and unfulfilling that job must be.

Thinking about them kind of depressed me a bit, because I really doubt that was where they imagined themselves to be 10 years ago. What choices did they make to end up exactly where they are now? And am I doing what I want to do?

Oh and it's not like I look down on their professions. Hey, you know if there weren't anybody doing their jobs that most of us think are at the bottom of the job pool, society as we know it would collapse. Oh no, it's like Society again.. Aaaa!!

You know, I really have lost the ability to come up with interesting posts. I read everyone else's blogs, and I look at mine and the difference in depth and thought is like Archie versus The Da Vinci Code.

So sad. I wish I had more depth than a kiddie pool. =(

Fools In April

It is April Fools' Day! What is April Fools' all about anyway? What's so special about April 1st?? Read here about it.

Who has had an April Fools' joke played on them? I've never really been pranked before (hahah sounds as if I'm asking for it aren't I? No I'm not!!)

I am waging a battle of the wills right now. And I'm not gonna lose this one. You think I'm gonna come chasing after you all the time? Not this time, boy. Not this time. I'm getting tired of playing this game.

ITB people taking Civil Engineering are attending this camp thing for a week starting today. 3 days in Tasek Merimbun, 3 days in ITB itself. Eh, why they have to camp in scary places kan? Well, I'm thankful I'm not them. Pity those who are going *cough*Lina*cough*cough*Ryan*cough*

Awww I'm gonna miss Ryan though. Sigh, have to find someone else to bully this week. Yes yes. Haha.

I haven't gotten started on any of my assignments. Procrastination issues again. Nayyy!!!!

Vicki just got a new phone!!!! The Sony Ericsson W880i!!! OMG it's SOOO gorgeous!!! Lovely lovely creation!!!


That is my hand holding the most beautiful thing in the world!!! The functions are really cool too. And it comes with a 1GB memory card. And seriously, it's gorgeous. I want a new phone too... =(

Ok people, don't know what to blog about now. See yaaaa