For A Moment I Can Tell I've Got You

Give this a listen:

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This song struck a chord in me (no pun intended), I couldn't help but tear up...

I just found the melody so beautiful and simple, and the lyrics...

"Empty stage, with nothing but this girl
Singing this simple melody and
Wearing her heart on her sleeve.."

I don't know. I think I'm in a super emo mood... but it is a beautiful song imo. :)

----

Don't you wish that you could just erase bad memories in your mind? Or blunt their effect on you? I know that you learn from pain, it makes you grow.. but sometimes it's just too much. I've tried steeling myself against hurt, but it just made me feel like it's there in a box somewhere, and one day that box will fall apart and all those emotions will break me.

I kind of have this fear that I may go crazy when I'm older. I'm totally serious. Because right now I'm struggling to keep all my emotions under control and it's getting harder and harder...

This is not making me sound good, is it? PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME FRIENDS :'(

I reread that article on why the 21st century is making us so miserable. Give it a read. It's a really good one.

Sigh. I think I'm drifting away from friends. I've had an awkward text conversation earlier with someone who used to be a good friend. One MSN convo that ended abruptly because I was just plain tired of making small talk. One that wasn't much of a convo in the first place, because we had nothing to talk about. All these with people I used to confide in. I don't know what's happening.

I need a change of scenery. I need to surround myself with something unfamiliar. I need to get out. I need help. :(

EMO TO THE MAXXX.

Night people.

xoxo bella

<3

I AM SO TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH DAVID CHOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome awesome.

I think he''s one of those artists who made it big through Youtube? (heheheheh I think there's an innuendo there somewhere)

Here are some of my favourites.

A Kiss Is Not A Kiss

without your sigh.

I like Casablanca! Although I have never watched the film, but I do love that song. There's a sad quality and it also brings back memories of laser discs and my dad singing. The reason why I know a lot of oldies is because I grew up hearing my dad sing them on karaoke! :P

In case you don't know what song I'm talking about:



Need more sleep.

xoxo bella

All By My Lonesome

... tonight. Usually I'm okay with it. But tonight while driving home from work I looked up and saw fireworks. It made me feel like crying suddenly because I think you should always watch fireworks with someone, special or not. Also I was very aware that my friends were hanging out somewhere at that very moment, and my sisters are back at home with my family. I was coming home to an empty house :( Yes I'm so melodramatic tonight. Hehehe.

Anyways my mood was lifted up by the appearance of this person:





Val Emmich, guest starring in 'Cougars', an episode of 30 Rock. He is so YUM, and he has dimples! And a deep sexxayyy voice. He's actually a musician who does little bits of acting. EH! I just read that he'll be starring in recurring episodes of Ugly Betty! WHOO! How awesome.

OMG. I think I am in love.



Absolutely Still


Oh damn. He is married. :( HAHAHAH as if I had a chance if he was single. lol.



You're Not The Only One Lonely

His songs make me sad. Heheh.

Goodnight people :)

xoxo bella

I Wanna Go Back!

Rewind to a week before! What is it with the end of vacations that depresses us so?

Sigh.

It's not only the blandness of life, but I really enjoyed being on my own and not really having to worry about things.

I'm such a worrier sometimes.

I love my music.



You, Me & The Bourgeoisie - The Submarines



American Boy - Estelle ft. Kanye West



Mirando - Ratatat (video a bit violent-ish)

I love driving with these songs playing at full blast. :)

Am I looking forward to uni? I don't know. I half am, if only to do something productive. I am mostly dreading it, because I want to do well, yet I have no faith in myself. I don't believe that I have enough willpower or discipline to stick to a healthy study plan. Why am I so lazy? I probably can do it in the beginning (I usually start out really rajin in the first half of the semester) but I usually fall off the wagon after a while :(

I think this semester will be different. I hope this semester will be different. I feel like I've been such a disappointing failure. To myself, to my parents. I just keep thinking, do I want to be average all the time? I know I have it in me. I do.

Must work with what I have.

I must!

:)

I also should take a hiatus from the internet before my exams. :S I don't know which I'm more addicted to, Facebook or MSN. lol.

I feel better now!! I just realised that You, Me & the Bourgeoisie is a happy song

Everyday I wake up,
I choose love,
I choose light,
And I try, it's too easy just to fall apart...

I should live like that :)

Alright, enough rants.

I'll see you later people!

xoxo bella

Soundtrack To Your Life

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense.
4. Write the answers down, or even comment on it.
5. Tag 5 people.

1. How are you feeling today?
Seal - Kissed By A Rose
mmmmm, if that means pms-ey and cramping that whoopee how fitting! ^^

2. Will you get far in life?
Blink 182 - All The Small Things
say it aint so i will not go turn the lights off carry me home na na na na na nana

3. What’s your best friend’s theme song?
System Of A Down - Hypnotize
interesting. which best friend?

4. What is the story of your life?
Oasis - Fade Away
how depressing

5. What was school like?
Christina Aguilera - Reflections
hmmmm

6. How can you get ahead with life?
The Killers - Mr. Brightside
okie dokes!

7. Whats the best thing about your friends?
David Guetta - Love Is Gone
whaaaa-? :'(

8. Describe your grandparents.
I don't wanna do this question.

9. How’s your life going?
The Kooks - She Moves In Her Own Way

10. What will be played at my funeral?
The Strokes - Politics

11. Will you have a happy life?
Evanescence - Everybody's Fool
..... I guess not.

12. What do your friends really think of you?
Get Well Soon - People Magazine Front Cover
artiste - song. So people think I should be on People's Magazine? *delighted*

13. Do people secretly lust after you?
Mariah Carey - Touch My Body
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

14. How can you make yourself happy?
Oasis - She's Electric
oooohh!!! One of the songs on my happy list!! :D

15. Will you ever have children?
Keane - On A Day Like Today
what? that's too damned soon :S

16. What song would you strip to?
Nobuo Uematsu - Otherworld
fyi, the soundtrack to Final Fantasy X. That would be such a strange strip.

17. What does your mom think of you?
Puretone - Addicted To Bass
.... alritey.

18. What is your deep, dark secret?
Sara Bareilles - City

19. What is your enemy’s theme song?
Nobuo Uematsu - Victory Fanfare
=_____= fyi, the song they play in FF games when you win a battle.... so I guess my "enemy" was victorious! :S

20. What’s your personality like?
Twista ft. R. Kelly - So Sexy
:D you're so sexyyyy purrfect for meeee

21. What will be played at your wedding?
T-Pain - Buy U A Drank
uh. what?

Tagging everyone on blog roll!

xoxo bella

Love It!

Damn blogger... error error error I couldn't get onto this page for ages, ERROR YOUR HEAD LAH!

Anyhoos.

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG!



This is in my opinion the best track on his newest album: "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things" (lol, that title cracks me up) Anyway, it's a duet between Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. Such a simple, sweet and lovely song. :)

Lyrics as follows:

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

JUST LOVE IT!

It's currently on repeat on iTunes :)

xoxo bella

ps: 200th post!!!!!! *minor celebration* lol.

I'm Only Blogging Because Iain Wants Publicity

Bella in a nutshell: Moody, lazy and bored.

I'm so lazy.
I'm so bored.
I'm so moody.

Iain in a nutshell:
I
Am
Incredibly
Needy

Iain is needy and needs constant care and attention. Like a puppy. lol.

I imagine tears are now welling up in your eyes, Iain. But before you start!! I like puppies! :P

Wokays! Done!

xoxo bella

ps: BECAUSE I STILL THINK THIS SONG IS AWESOME!!!

Here we go:

Guy Love

Wahahahaha...

I know the post title sounds dodgy. =P

It's only 'cause I'm listening to one of the songs from Scrubs, specifically from the episode My Musical, where Turk and JD sings to each other about their (totally straight) love for each other. But it's hilarious because they seem so gay. Haha.

Turk&JD: ~It's guy love, that's what it is, guy love, he's mine, I'm his, there's nothing gay about it in our eyes~
Turk: You ask me about this thing we share
JD: And he tenderly repliiiiies~
Turk: It's guy love
Both: between two guyssss~

Turk: We're closer than the average man and wife
JD: That's why our matching bracelets says "Turk & JD"!
Turk: You know I'll stick by you for the rest of our lives
JD: You're the only man who's ever been inside of meeeee~
Turk: Whoa whoa I just took out his appendix

hahahahaha coupled with the image of them singing while staring lovingly into each others' eyes, that scene makes one of my favourites in the Sixth season.

So boredddd. I'm at work now, killing time. (sees incredulous looks all around) Yes I'm working on a Sunday. Not only that, I actually read a bit for Quantitative Analysis. Hypothesis testing. Scintillating stuff.

Trying to turn over a new leaf k. 2008 POWER! (I dunno what that means =)

My timetable sucks! Wtf! I'm so mad. 5hrs on a Saturday afternoon, plus I would either have to work or make the long journey back home to KB right after that. (sarcasm) oh thank you, thank you so much people. (/sarcasm)

gila I'm surfing the crimson wave right now, it ain't fun!

listening to: Hey Julie - Fountains of Wayne (super happy and catchy song! Love love!)

xoxo bella

Mwarrr~

Oh gawd, I'm in emo mode again.

To avoid ranting, I shall post here my depressing songs playlist. Harhar. I am listening to it right now. =)

Bella's Emo Playlist

In God's Hands by Nelly Furtado
- A break up song, about a couple whose love has faded away. Enough said.

I'm Not An Addict by Jane's Addiction
- I've liked this song since I heard it performed by Zayra on RockStar Supernova, it's (from what I can understand) about a drug addict in denial? Not wanting to admit his bad habit, not wanting to give it up.. "It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive.."

Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton
- I hate this song. I truly do. It gets me down everytime I hear it, and somehow most of the stores I walk into seem to love playing it over their sound systems. Cilaka. This is unconfirmed, but someone told me that Eric Clapton wrote it for his son(?) who committed suicide. Malas wanna Wiki it to see whether it's true or not.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie
- This song just hits me somehow, I don't even know what it's about, but it's one of my favourite songs.

What Sarah Said by Death Cab For Cutie
- It's about someone who's losing a loved one to death. A line from the song which I found to be beautiful, "Love is watching someone die..." That's what Sarah said anyway. =P

When Somebody Loved Me by Sarah McLachlan
- For one second, IGNORE the fact that it's taken from the soundtrack of Toy Story 2. I think the song is about losing that feeling of being loved, that everything was perfect, and you were safe. "When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful.."

Let That Be Enough by Switchfoot & Jars of Clay
- I'm not sure whether the artist is right, because it doesn't really sound like Switchfoot, but anyway. This song sums up how I feel when I'm at my lowest. Lost, alone, defeated. "I'm a plane in the sunset, with nowhere to land.."

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore by James Morrison
- I don't think this is especially depressing, but it's at the top of my favourite songs to listen to now. I think it's about giving up on a relationship that's just not working anymore, hence, "There's no use in trying when the pieces don't fit anymore.."

Silence by Jay Chou
- SHADDUP just cause I'm a banana, it doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good emo song. I mean even without knowing what he's saying you can tell it's sad right? Anyhoo, it's about a guy who's willing to let the girl he loves be with someone else, because he loves her that much. Blah. Jay Chou before he became such a movie whore. LOL. Ok lar sorry Jay Chou fans. I used to be one of you too.

24 by Switchfoot
- I still have no idea what this song is about. Which is why it's an emo song. It makes you think, dammit. And nothing good ever comes out of thinking.

Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk
- I dunno.

Missing by Evanescence
- Evanescence is the synonym for depressing.

The Ghost Of You And Me by BBMak
- Another break up song.

Anyway, that's all I've got. You can try downloading them if you need to feel like shit. LOL. I think everyone needs a good soundtrack when they're wallowing in self-pity.

Anyhoo, I feel hungry.

All Better!

Well... Not totally, but hey I feel less depressed.

I was gonna drown in my misery and cry myself to sleep while listening to depressing songs, but I couldn't fall asleep.

Tzen was still awake and she was all hyper and excited about something that she just had to tell me so she came down to my room to do just that. Man was she hyper. She was bouncing everywhere. Picture Tzen jumping around in my room, Bella sitting on her chair morosely watching. We were like the polar opposite of each others' moods. She was so restless that we went out for a walk. I guess it did me good, or maybe our moods kinda clashed and leaked into each other, 'cause she sobered up and I was cheered up a little. Hehe. Sometimes I do love that biatch. Hahaha.

It's a beautiful, nice, COOL night. We actually felt chilled! Isn't that weirrrdddd?? (No not really, it isn't =)

Anyway part of why I was depressed is because of one *^^&$%^$8. Sometimes I feel like he's playing games with me. What do you want from me kan? Ee.

Speaking of depressing songs, I found another great Death Cab for Cutie track! Yay! I'm loving their songs! (Well two of them so far lah)

Enjoy~

I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me "Son, fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

(chorus)

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

(chorus)

Then I'll follow you into the dark...

--

Loving it! Haha. And since it's still 26th February..... again, HIPPO BORTHODOX my lovely Rinni!! Hahaha. And I forgot to mention, I'm having a bit of a cough. Stupid, quite hard for me to sleep lar. Yeesh.

Love Is Watching Someone Die

I'm so confused. I hate that I have trouble controlling my emotions. And making sense out of it.

I feel like crying, and I have no idea why...

If you think it's V-Day, then you're wrong... I have a Valentine. Who obviously likes me very much. He's so sweet. He got me a Valentine gift. But I still feel unhappy.

I feel like he deserves someone so much better than me. I just screw up everything. But I'm too attached to him to let go. In a way, I do like him, but I don't know if it's enough... I miss him though... I'm such a loser.

Anyway, here are lyrics to the song I'm currently loving, stumbled upon it by accident actually =)

Sad song, but beautiful, moving lyrics.

What Sarah Said - Death Cab For Cutie

And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak of the LCD took you a little farther away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds
But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said that "Love is watching someone die"

So who's going to watch you die?..